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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Feel stuck

10 replies

user1466108618 · 08/04/2017 11:50

Hi all ive now realised that i want to leave my partner we have been together coming up 16 years and stupidly after buying our first house together ive realised what a mistake ive made. I dont know what to do as we have 4 kids and he said to me just last night that he would kill himself and it would be my fault and it would be my fault too leaving the kids without a dad, all i want to do is cry as i feel there is no way out. Any advice?

OP posts:
noego · 08/04/2017 12:35

Definitely leave now.

Moanyoldcow · 08/04/2017 13:10

Have you got a safe place you can go? Get the hell out of there. He's being emotionally abusive and it's not safe to stay with him.

Original poster
user1466108618 · 08/04/2017 13:41

Hi no i dont have anywhere else to go but im too scared to go as he has just said the same thing on the phone there that if i left him his death would be on my hands. Suppose ill just need to grin and bare staying.

OP posts:
Rainybo · 08/04/2017 13:46

No, he is an adult and he makes his own choices. You would not be responsible for his choices. He is saying that to manipulate and control you.

Do you have any family or friends nearby who could support you?

Original poster
user1466108618 · 08/04/2017 13:49

My mum should be over today if she does ill try and speak to her

OP posts:
UnicornsAreReal666 · 08/04/2017 13:50

I can totally relate to what you are saying OP and you have all my sympathies Flowers
Keep strong, walk out, only HE is responsible for his actions, and I very much doubt people will be happy with his selfish actions (imho he is saying it for effect, he wants you to stay, you are)

Walk away!

noego · 08/04/2017 13:52

Its called Emotional Blackmail. Do not fall for it.

UnicornsAreReal666 · 08/04/2017 13:55

Can u leave with your mum when she comes? Does she know what's been happening?

Do this for you, do this for your children xx

Original poster
user1466108618 · 08/04/2017 14:08

My mum knows we have done a few problems but she doesnt know about him saying he would kill himself. He is depressed but will not seek help as he says hes fine but i know hes not.

OP posts:
CharlotteCollins · 08/04/2017 15:24

Firstly, as PP have said, ignore his threats. It's his responsibility and only his if he chooses to go down that path.

Secondly, if you want to leave him, with four kids, and stay gone, then a bit of planning and preparation can really help. Do you want him to leave or do you want to move out?

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