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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can we have a long distance thread?

6 replies

lemonzest123 · 07/04/2017 14:29

Hello ladies and gents!

Is anyone else in a LDR and thinks they could use a bit of support now and then?

I'd love to hear some stories of success/challenges happening in your lives with your DP who is, for whatever reason, a little way away!

For my part, I've been with DP a year, he live by the lovely sea on the South Coast and I'm in the big smoke. When we first got together he was working a contract in London so spent all week with me in London and went home at weekends. His contract ended in December so now he comes up on weekends or I go down there. I can't lie, it's been a really adjustment and I miss him awfully.

We generally have an amazing time when we're together however it always bugs me I seem to need about 1 day to 'get used' to him again, it's such a waste of time when we could be having fun! Does any one else get that?

x

OP posts:
Hotwaterbottle1 · 07/04/2017 14:49

Hi, I'm in a ldr and at first it was ok but now I find myself getting upset leaving and missing him terribly. I'm trying to see it as a positive though that the feelings are so strong. We see each other every second weekend although quite often every weekend. He is in Yorkshire & I Scotland. He is the love of my life though & I just know it's going to work out.

I don't get the adjustment thing though, I get major butterflies and excitement when I see him.

noego · 07/04/2017 16:28

I have two LDR's. It doesn't bother me or them. I see them when I can. In constant contact daily with both. And before you ask they both know of each other. Like minded people you see.

rumred · 07/04/2017 16:42

I started an ldr a few weeks ago. 4 hours drive apart. Both early 50s.
It's intense and exciting but I'm worried how it work long term as neither of us is in a position to move anytime soon.

I'm pursuing it because she's lovely and it feels better than anything I've had before - I have had several short unsatisfactory relationships over the past 10 years, this feels very different
I'm also aware that limited contact means less chance of seeing a whole person. Or am I being cynical?

user128057 · 08/04/2017 09:27

I am also in a long distance relationship.

Ladylouanne · 08/04/2017 10:30

I don't know if I qualify as being in a ldr, but I completely get what you're saying OP.

My bf lives about an hour and 15 min drive from me. That's at weekends - if either of us made the journey durney during rush hour it would be closer to 2 hrs, so we really on see each other at weekends and holidays.

I totally understand the 'getting used' to each other thing. I also worry that because the time together is so limited, it means we tend to avoid discussing the day to day issues that would happen if we saw each other every couple of days.

We FaceTime pretty much every day when we're not together but it's usually at the end of the day when I'm knackered. This means I'm still not inclined to revisit any things in the day that have affected me really. To be honest, even though I have a stressful job, I tend not to want to talk about it at home anyway - I'd just rather have him there sitting next to me and giving me a cuddle when watching telly.

Sorry, I'm no help really - I just share your pain OP!

lemonzest123 · 10/04/2017 19:06

lady i hate that feeling of knowing you only have a certain amount of time.

In my brain I go "don't be weird, you only have two days together" so i invariably act weird for the first day or so. I did it this week just gone...Was weird all Thursday and by the time he left this morning I'm totally loved up and he's gone home.

Is so tough Sad

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