Another one bites the dust

[WildBelle]

I (stupidly) thought I'd found a bloke who wasn't a complete douche. A first, for me!

But no, mistaken.

Back to the original plan of being crazy cat lady.

Sorry. What happened?

Had a tendency to let me down at the last minute. Tonight he said he would be here by 11.30 (he lives a couple of hours away). No contact with him at all until 11.45, despite me ringing a couple of times over the evening and sending a text. Message said he'd just got in from the pub, would phone in 15 minutes, and come down tomorrow. No apology. To which I replied 'don't bother'.

No response to that but he did put a status on fb about what a great night at the pub he'd had, tagging all his mates. Hope it was worth it.

This isn't the first time, he's done similar before.

And that's before you get into the issues of his heavy drinking (addiction IMO) and the fact he's still on probation for DV against his ex wife.

You had a lucky escape . So did his wife. What a douche. You are better than that, don't need to accept substandard x

Run and don't look back.

No, I don't. I can't even bring myself to feel sad about it. What a dick.

Oh, and he said in his message that his phone died at 8pm, which I guess is his way of excusing not contacting me earlier. But it rang both times I called, which unless I'm mistaken phones don't do if they are flat? So he couldn't even be honest. I have zero time for liars.

He's on probation for DV and you thought you'd found a good one? Why, exactly?

well yes, in hindsight he wasn't really much of a catch was he!

Did you only just find out about the DV? Because no, he wasn't a catch at all but you dont need hindsight to tell you that a man on probation for domestic abuse isn't a good prospect!

I knew about it from the start. Basically his wife was having an affair. He and his wife went to the pub, the OM was there, his wife and OM were being ridiculously flirty, he warned them both to pack it in. They didn't, so he ended up decking the OM, and the wife kind of got caught up in it.

So no not ideal but he seemed to have learnt his lesson from it and I could kind of see how it came about, especially as they were all pissed.

How do you know that story was true though?
That doesn't sound like an incident of domestic abuse or violence. That is a completely different type of incident.
I'm just trying to point out that your radar may be off and your boundaries not as strong as they should be.

I think I'd be very wary if I didn't know him, but I'd known him (vaguely) for 8 years, had mutual friends. He wasn't some random off of the interweb or anything.

Well done. You've done the right thing OP. So many times I wish I'd had the guts to just 'don't bother' to some idiot dicking me around instead of putting up with it for too long.

Thanks. He's now blocked me on whatsapp and fb...as if I was going to contact him!

Hmm, you thought a heavy drinker/alcoholic on probation was a good prospect...

For your next dating adventure, how about writing to some guys on death row in 'Murica.

Didn't quite realise the extent of his drinking at first.