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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Hes met someone else

21 replies

Itsnotmyday · 31/03/2017 01:40

2 weeks after leaving me and hes met someone else. Said he was seeing her while he was with me. The fucking liar!!! I feel numb. Hes been messaging me this last 2 weeks saying that he wanted to try again and hes messaged me tonight saying hes been on a date and met someone else. I feel numb. Please help. I havent messahed back im shaking

OP posts:
highinthesky · 31/03/2017 02:24

Don't message him back. The asshole is playing you like goodun.

Go cold turkey and get your life back on track.

Original poster
Itsnotmyday · 31/03/2017 02:33

I feel broken. He was crying to me last week saying how sorry he was and he wanted to try again. I feel so stupid and hurt. The thought of him being with someone else makes me feel physically sick

OP posts:
flapjackfairy · 31/03/2017 03:19

It may all be a bluff to save face and make you jealous?
Even if not what are the chances it will last?
Chin up xxx

Original poster
Itsnotmyday · 31/03/2017 05:25

Im gutted. Why did he feel the need to tell me. Why couldnt he of just left me alone

OP posts:
GeekyWombat · 31/03/2017 05:30

He wants you to be questioning the breakup. Don't give him the satisfaction of a response.

Let's face it, one date means nothing.

FluffyWhiteTowels · 31/03/2017 07:10

His actions clearly demonstrate you're not that important to him. Move on. Don't respond or react. Don't pander to this scumbag. You deserve to find a better, kind, respectful, loving partner

Original poster
Itsnotmyday · 31/03/2017 07:20

It was hard enough him leaving me, to then have me dangling on a string to then tell me he has met someone else

OP posts:
Shayelle · 31/03/2017 07:26

Block him!!!! Cut him out forever.

mimishimmi · 31/03/2017 07:43

Don't reply. He's hoping for a reaction.

Original poster
Itsnotmyday · 31/03/2017 07:45

I did message him back, just saying good riddance. I know i shouldnt of done

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 31/03/2017 07:49

Just ignore him. If he really wanted you, he'd never have risked splitting up with you.
I think he's planning on having sex with multiple partners, don't get drawn in

Original poster
Itsnotmyday · 31/03/2017 07:54

Why does he want to hurt me so much? He could of just left me when he did and not speak to me again, why did he say we could try then to tell me he had met someone else after one date? She must of been in the background somewhere, any normal women would run a mile if they new they had only been single for 2 weeks, i know i would. He had been convinced this last 2 weeks i was seeing other people, i would get abusive messages and phoning me saying hes coming to my house so whoever i had in i best get them out. Ive not even spoke to another man..

OP posts:
Original poster
Itsnotmyday · 31/03/2017 08:00

The worst thing about it all is that im still in love with him and all i wanted was for him to come home

OP posts:
mickyblueyes · 31/03/2017 09:39

He sounds like a Narcissist. Google it, you may well get some answers as to what you are dealing with.

  • Having another woman in the wings before her ends it with you.
  • Discarding you...like a piece of trash, he's moved on.
  • Projection - projecting his cheating onto you by accusing you of cheating.

Block him, go no contact..it seriously is the only way to go, it's hard, really hard. He's looking for a reaction from you to feed his ego...give him nothing...it'll drive him nuts too that he's getting no reaction from you.

What's you story, married, children????

Original poster
Itsnotmyday · 31/03/2017 09:46

No, ltr for 2 years. We both have kids but not with each other

OP posts:
mickyblueyes · 31/03/2017 11:39

As shitty as it seems right now be thankful that you don't have kids together and a divorce to go through. Go 'No Contact', it's the only way to get your sanity back...block him on social media and his phone number.

It hurts like shit right now, but you'll be thankful in the long run that you are rid of the big shit!

All the best.

Adora10 · 31/03/2017 11:47

He's either trying to make you jealous or is so spiteful he wants to just hurt you; neither is a good trait OP; what an absolute git to do that to you; you will have to go NC.

Original poster
Itsnotmyday · 31/03/2017 13:08

Im trying but he still continues to message me, and sectretly i still want him to. What a awful situatuaion. I feel so incredibily stupid. How do i ho NC when i dont really want to but need to?

OP posts:
Original poster
Itsnotmyday · 31/03/2017 14:39

Feel so pathetic

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 31/03/2017 14:48

Do you have a close friend?
Give her your phone.
Ask her to block and delete his number.
Ask her to block him from all your social media.
And block him from all your apps.
You won't do it yet as you aren't ready.
I wasn't to start with either.
I was obsessing over the last time he'd been on whatsapp.
Kept looking as his FB and hers.
But after a couple of weeks I blocked him on everything.
The relief was immense!!
Try it!

KindDogsTail · 31/03/2017 14:55

He is trying to control you like a gambling machine that sometimes pays out but more often doesn't - which is very addictive. He wants to know he still has power over you. He told you to hurt you.

You can forget him, and you will be so much happier without him.

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