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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Heart hurt

10 replies

debbs77 · 21/03/2017 20:42

Does anyone else that is single or recently out of a relationship find that their heart feels like it actually hurts?

I've recently come out of a short relationship. He was lovely, wanted forever, but it was all just a bit boring. Before that I was in an emotionally abusive relationship.

I am happy on my own, and happy focusing on myself and my children. But I keep feeling drawn to going back on to online dating. I don't even want to actually meet someone right now, just to chat would be nice!

OP posts:
noego · 22/03/2017 07:46

Go onto OKC and state looking for friends only.

Original poster
debbs77 · 22/03/2017 09:46

That's a good idea

OP posts:
user1488723505 · 22/03/2017 11:07

What is okc can someone enlighten me please?

Original poster
debbs77 · 22/03/2017 13:56

I assumed it was a type for OLD xx

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 22/03/2017 14:02

It's OK Cupid, another date site. I found this one the worst of the lot,
loads of guys just wanted sex.

Just go on POF and say just looking for friendship. I made it clear on my profile I wanted to start as friends and see what happens and amazingly enough after meeting lots of frogs I have met a.....so far....great guy. Good luck!

pocketsaviour · 22/03/2017 20:35

"It's OK Cupid, another date site. I found this one the worst of the lot,
loads of guys just wanted sex."

Opposite for me, I found PoF was full of fuckboys but OKC was more serious dudes.

OP if you feel like you're still hurting then I'd say take some time out from dating. Think about what you actually want. Do you want more DC? If not, then why would you compromise?

Original poster
debbs77 · 22/03/2017 22:35

I've been thinking a lot about this today. I'm not in a position to date realistically. I have a large brood, no help or childcare, so dates in the evening aren't possible. I am self employed son daytime dates also would cut in to my child free work time!

So I will put it on hold until the children are older.

I think I just miss companionship. I only have a small circle of friends, they're all married and have been for many years, all got children of their own. And because I'm an independent sort, people assume I'm okay and leave me alone!

OP posts:
Trustyourself2 · 23/03/2017 00:14

It is a fact that the heart hurts. I wouldn't have believed it until it happened to me last year.

I'll never use online dating - quite honestly, I cannot be arsed.

Good luck with everything.

noego · 23/03/2017 08:03

I hope independence doesn't mean introverted. Keeping oneself to oneself could be seen as standoffish. I'm sure that isn't the case OP.

Original poster
debbs77 · 23/03/2017 15:35

No, I'm very outgoing and get on well with people. But when I go through things in my life, people don't really seem to care? My ex husband had an affair and left me after12 years and 4 children......no family visits, no help or support other than from two close friends for a day or two. Even when I ask for help or invite people, they don't!

OP posts:
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