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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I'm OK but why?

8 replies

anxiousnow · 20/03/2017 01:13

A guy I was getting to know ghosted me a while ago. He had just gone about how much he had missed chatting with me when we hadn't text for 2 days. All the can't wait to spend the evenight with you etc. Then disappears mid conversation. Absolutely nothing.
A couple of months later he text me. He apologised a lot for his previous disappearing. I did explain how shit it was and so much easier to just say etc. He promised he would make it up to me etc. He didn'the reply to a message so i asked him if he was disappearing again. He replied saying no of course not etc etc then he'said done it again.
I checked his fb and it says in a relationship for last few months.
Obviously I won't be giving him another chance but why? Why go to the effort of coming back, apologising, showing an interest to meet and make it up to me, deny he will do it again then wham gone.

OP posts:

Original poster

anxiousnow · 20/03/2017 01:14

Sorry my phone. Hope you can get the gist.

OP posts:

GreyDey · 20/03/2017 01:19

I think you've dodged a rather large bullet

pincha · 20/03/2017 01:21

Keeping his options open I guess. What a knob.

BastardGoDarkly · 20/03/2017 01:23

Did you happen to sleep with him again when he came back to ' make it up to you ' ?

highinthesky · 20/03/2017 01:23

Delete this dickhead from your life.

Original poster

anxiousnow · 20/03/2017 01:36

No, I haven't slept with him. I probably wasn't as flirty the time he came back but it was because I was being cautious. I would never have expected him to ghost me the first time so felt more weary second time round. He was the one who wanted to take it further than just explaining why he did it the first time and apologising. That's the bit I don't get. I'm annoyed at myself as I still really want to hear from him with some valid explanation for his little disappearance again and why he wants something to happen if the fb status is true. I'very lost all faith in my judgement as he seemed so sweet and genuine. Thanks

OP posts:

TheNaze73 · 20/03/2017 07:59

Sounds like he was after the low hanging fruit, of sex only. A one & done. Just block him.

SleepingTiger · 20/03/2017 08:47

He was on his device, his wife came home and caught him, looking over his shoulder. Almighty row, she threatened to leave, he slept in the spare room, device not touched. She came on here, opened her own thread, told by posters to LTB, but she gave him another chance. He was a good boy for a while, got the other chance. Two months later he is feeling more confident, he has given a lot, he gets more freedom in return, but still the character of the man has not changed. So she is away with friends so he tries his luck again.

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