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Original poster

Tinder and similar - I am a complete novice

13 replies

Notcontent · 15/03/2017 22:17

Ok, I will be blunt. I am a lone parent and I have not been in a relationship for years. I am at a stage in my life where I am not really looking for a serious relationship. I am so busy with work and being a parent. BUT my life is so dull - so Groundhog Day - and I think that, actually, I would like to just have a drink with someone and sex. That's just so not me, but I think online is the only way to achieve that.

I am early 40s. Not unattractive but lacking in confidence. Is Tinder the way to go? Please help !

OP posts:
Shitalopram · 15/03/2017 22:19

OK Cupid is where you need to go!

Free, has a good matching system, and one of the massive advantages for me is that you can't send private photos so you don't see any willies unless you want to!

Original poster
Notcontent · 15/03/2017 22:29

Ok, thanks! I definitely don't want to see any willy pics!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Notcontent · 15/03/2017 22:57

Bump!

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 16/03/2017 08:11

No first hand experience of Tinder but, a lot of my friends have used it.
I think by what you are looking for, few drinks & sex, you will be very popular on there. The not wanting a heavy, draining relationship will work in your favour

daisychain01 · 16/03/2017 08:18

Your choice but if no strings isn't normally your thing, I hope you feel you're up for that kind of relationship. OLD is a cruel place and even those who go into it saying to themselves they just want "drinks and fun", it very rarely ends up that way. It's just never that simple.

I've heard so many negatives and no positives about Tinder I'm not the best person to recommend it!

Take care x

UpYerGansey · 16/03/2017 11:15

OP, why don't you pop on over to the Dating Thread? Lots of advice and support from friendly posters in the trenches of OLD Smile

Clnz4fun · 16/03/2017 12:42

Only ever used tinder. My general rule for use is not to swipe everyday or even once a week as you will end with more matches than you can handle. Once I get a batch I tend to find I limit myself to chatting to 3 men at one time eventually one or two gets knocked out the ring for whatever reason and then I swipe or chat to some others.
It can be time consuming also as when I used it yrs ago I felt like I was just killing/wasting time on it.

I'm on it for what you describe op it's isn't hard to find people game for that but I don't expressly state it on my profile. I actually tend to avoid guys that state they only want a hook up. I want casual sex but I want it to be born mutually rather than from a swipe if that makes sense, not had any issues there.

Original poster
Notcontent · 16/03/2017 22:16

Thanks very much! Lots to think about...

OP posts:
Toobloodytired · 16/03/2017 22:20

I went on tinder for sex only, I met a guy who was a wanker....worked perfectly, he wanted sex only too!

Didn't like his personality only his body, that was a year ago next month, I'm about to have his baby....we are no longer together, he left me for OW.

MAKE SURE IF YOU MEET ON THE BASIS OF SEX, IT STAYS JUST SEX!

If he's a wanker, sack him off!!

sparkle00 · 16/03/2017 22:33

Oh wow! This is meeeeeeeeee! Just posted. I posted days ago about my life being like groundhog day. Moaning about not having a social life so decided to date but I have absolutely no confidence when it comes to this So just posted again to hopefully find some words of wisdom 😊

Clnz4fun · 17/03/2017 08:32

sparkle the first time I did a hook up I was clearly nervous Grin. But he was very attractive and I went with it and we still hook up about once a year as he lives outside the country, basically if it's what you really want then you do have to push yourself out of your normal comfort zone to achieve it at first.

Never had casual sex before this now it's easy enough.

Do 2nd the advice if it's just sex keep it that way, guy I'm currently seeing I know I wouldn't particularly like him as a partner so it's easy for my not to gain feelings.

Also always make sure someone knows who you are meeting or get them to check on you. They don't need to know the ins and outs of what you are doing but just to check you are safe.

Clnz4fun · 17/03/2017 08:34

Also sparkle check out meetup app. It's not a dating site but seems really good if you have hobbies or social interests there are group meet up's basically for strangers to meet up and do it.

Always possible to meet someone this way and is more natural I think Smile.

LesisMiserable · 17/03/2017 09:05

I met my OH on Tinder two and half years ago.

My tinder tips for you are this:

Most people just want fun and sex to start with, its entirely normal and natural. You are bored and feeling frisky. You want dates and sex- fine. Take it that everybody who hasn't implicitly stated they are there for hook ups only is on there for the same as you fun and sex, because after all thats what dating is. People who want a serious relationship before they've even shagged somebody weird me out. You want a serious relationship with a stranger?? So yeh. Enjoy it. Date. Have sex. Drink wine together. Laugh. Go for dinner together. Maybe something real will grow from it 😊

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