Husband and his secret debts.

[Missvirtuenot]

Hi my husband run up debts in total with interest 40k . He never told me and I found out as I had a feeling something was wrong. So I did some snooping and I found out how bad it was , I was so upset considering he knows my past regarding money problems which I had to go bankrupt due to my ex not paying bill or mortgage and the flat got reprised.I'm trying for nearly a year to get on things and help him ,but he gets angry for me interfering etc . I not happy I want to end our marriage and I feel am being not a good wife not helping through the bad times . But I can't be with some one that lies . Has any one divorce or separated due to husband or partners debt and lies thank you

My ex lied about his wages - said they were crap and we were skint etc. Blamed me for always spending - I didn't except for food and often had to borrow to pay bills etc. Always cash for him tho, golf membership, pool, pub, etc. . Came to a head when I saw a pay slip on a Sunday night online after he didn't close the laptop quick enough. Made me go digging in some paperwork - sealed envelope had a pile of decent wage slips going back a year.

He moved out the next day (I told him to) and have never set eyes on him since. .
5 years ago!!

Have you spoken with a solicitor yet? I think that would be wise. Also, if you haven't done so already, arrange for your wages to be paid into a separate bank account in your name only.

My BF went through this. They lost everything and he had CCJs. They divorced over it, he actually left her and all
this came out afterwards. Several years later they were reconciled (they have DC) and have lived happily but in penury since then. She says, for her, it was easier to forgive than OW and they both feel he had a breakdown basically. It took a lot of counselling too. Best wishes.

Yes end it, what the hell did he do with 40K, it's pretty much a massive betrayal.

Yep. I did about a month ago.

I also have a bad history with an abusive ex who used to quit work at the drop of a hat and blame me when bills weren't getting paid, so he knows how stressful I find debt.

Got sick of covering his ass when the bills weren't getting paid, bailing him out to save him paying overdraft fees, and him hiding it from me, lying to me for months and months, then admitting it and acting like he was such a saint for finally being honest with me, just to do it again a few months later.

Pretty decent relationship besides that. I was completely gutted because the time before last I warned him I would be gone if it continued, and he did it again anyway.