please help/advise

[tryingtobestrong33]

Hi
I have another thread on here but my internet was cut off ( whole other story ) n now i cant find it but pls i need your help/advice....
Sorry if this is a ramble my heads so screwed...
Need to get out of my relationship so badly like today i just cant find the strength to do it
Loads has happened since the last time i posted and i needed to do that then/ felt a bit stronger than now then and i still dont know how?
I mean on an hr by hr basis how to not think/ not feel about it and try and get theough it rather than just tell him to piss off/block his number etc
Im panicking i really am tonight but i know im getting weaker every day so i need to do it quickly .....
I hope someone has felt the same so can advise....
Pls im struggling so badly with how much everything hurts tonight

I don't think I have come across your other post and do not know the story so apologies in advance if I don't have much to offer in term of advice.
You sound really distressed, are you on your own at home?

It's good that you can see that, the longer you leave it, the harder it will be to leave.

If you can't do it on your own, who can you ask to help you in real life? Even if you've been isolated from friends and family, there's very likely to be someone who has been worried about you and would support you.

Can you call Women's Aid on 0808 2000 247? They may be able to find you somewhere to go tonight.

Please don't doubt that you are doing the right thing by leaving, even if you walk away with just the clothes you are wearing and nothing else, except children if you have them. Nothing is as important as you are.

I dont even live with him so yes i am home alone tonight although he was meant to be here ....
I know that makes me sound even more pathetic im sorry

Ok, so you have your own place, and if I read your post correctly, it's more about how do you stop being with someone you don't want to be with?

Can you tell us the reasons you don't want to be with them, so we can try to help you?

Oh, and you are not pathetic. I'd wager a fair few of us have been where you are right now. That's the beauty of Mumsnet.

Im so low tonight had a panic attack earlier n frightened of having another one
No one in real life i can reach out to atm ( another story ) im scared how many more days of this i can hack without loosing my head completley

Do you know what is causing these panic attacks? What's setting you off?

Are you ok, OP?

Him hes setting me off the treading on eggshells trying not to annoy him even when hes not here the worry of how he will be with me if i answer the phone but also how awful he will be to punish me if i dont
Im so on edge constantly its breaking me

I know you already know these things logically but:

You don't have to answer the phone to him.

You don't have to let him into your home.

You can call the police if he becomes aggressive or you feel threatened in any way.

You do not deserve to be treated like this.

You are not responsible for his shitty behaviour.

You are not responsible for keeping him calm or making him happy.

You have the right to be treated with love and respect.

You can ask for help from Women's Aid.

You are not pathetic. There are thousands of women who work in high powered jobs who can't escape from abusive relationships. The fact that you are being abused is not a reflection of your worth.

If he begs and pleads for you not to finish the relationship, remember that he won't change. He has shown you who he is. Now believe him and walk away.

You really need to end this relationship. If you believe that doing so will put you at rick of harm, contact the police/Women's Aid first.

Keep repeating "I deserve better."