despairing over organising a 50th

[sophiamia]

Hello,

I'm looking for some advice over a rather difficult situation..

My oldest sister is turning 50 in a few months and has been complaining to myself and others that no one is organising anything for her. She feels very isolated where she lives and whilst she has a few good friends she isn't part of a large social group she could invite due to what can only be described as bullying at the school gate a couple of years ago. I'm not sure a family event would be possible as the only attendees would be her DH and two children, myself and our parents. To make things more complicated her birthday is in the middle of her two daughter's A-Level and GCSE exams and so they cannot go on holiday at the time. She is very sensitive over this and so even if they do go on holiday in the summer she would be very upset with just a meal on the day. Does anyone have any suggestions or insight into what we should do?

Could you take her for a spa day maybe and then have the rest of the family join for dinner and then stay over? She can't imagine you can magic up friends for her, so will understand the attendees. Your kids can bring their study with them.

She's just going to have to wait for the big celebration. Descend on her on the day, make an enormous fuss on every possible front, knowing you'll have a proper shindig at a later date, all booked and paid for.

Love that idea Bluntness (I'm considering stealing it!)

Otherwise how about booking some other kind of 'experience' according to her tastes - a specialist day/weekend cookery course, cocktail masterclass, painting session or similar that you could attend with her?

I'm confused as to why she is complaining 'no-one is organising anything for her'

Everyone I know has chosen what they wanted to do for their 50th, and then cracked on with organising it.
If she really has some issues that mean she can't, then surely it would be up to her dh ?

Walking weekend with the family, in a lovely cottage or youth hostel? With nice tea out, big dinner on the Sat?

I have to say that every prospective 50year old I know including myself is organising their own bloody celebration. What's the point of living this long if you haven't learned to organise a piss up in a brewery?

I agree with the PP. She is old enough to organise her own party or whatever she wants to do. Failing that, her DH. Why doyou have to get involved at all? She sounds quite demanding.

The exams of my children would be far more important to me than a silly birthday do. Your sister sounds like a spoiled princess.

I agree. I am sorry your sister has been suffering bullying, but why does she think someone should be organising parties for her? What a diva! For my 50th, I got a bunch of people close to me, (hubby, both daughters and their boyfriends, boyfriends parents and siblings, and my close family too, and asked everyone to come to a local Inn for a meal and drinks. (About 25 of us altogether.) And me and hubby paid. I didn't expect people to pay for stuff or arrange anything!

My 40th; hubby arranged a trip to Canada for me and him and the kids. Absolutely wonderful. I never expected it though.