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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I have just reported my ex to the police...now I am scared *TRIGGER WARNING*

28 replies

harrypotternerd · 04/03/2017 05:24

My ex and I split up in early 2015. He was abusive throughout our entire relationship and has continued to be violent afterwards. There was sexual assault involved. The police are investigating after I made a statement and said even though it has been a few years they can sometimes get a conviction for sexual assault. I am now scared of what he is going to do once he finds out I have spoken to the police.

OP posts:
FrenchLavender · 04/03/2017 05:26

What triggered to you report past assaults and abuse now?

Original poster
harrypotternerd · 04/03/2017 05:34

he was still being violent and knew he would not stop. They asked for the full history.

OP posts:
FrenchLavender · 04/03/2017 06:14

Sorry I was confused by your wording. So you've continued to spend time with him since you split two years ago, even though he is your ex? Or does he just turn up uninvited and get violent and abusive with you? So the violence is an ongoing thing but the sexual assault was from two or more years ago?

Original poster
harrypotternerd · 04/03/2017 06:45

we have children together so see him at child exchanges but the police are getting ss involved and said i will no longer have to. the sexual assault is from throughout our relationship (2010 -2015) and the violence is still ongoing. sorry im not making sense, i had to go through everything with the police

OP posts:
RebootYourEngine · 04/03/2017 06:48

Does he gets violent in front of the children?

Original poster
harrypotternerd · 04/03/2017 06:55

yes

OP posts:
NaiceBiscuits · 04/03/2017 07:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrenchLavender · 04/03/2017 07:05

Do you know when he is likely to find out about your statement? I don't know much about this sort of thing but has anyone advised you about getting an emergency injunction or whatever they are called, so that he cannot come within so many metres of you without triggering an immediate arrest?

Does he come to your home for these child exchanges?

FrenchLavender · 04/03/2017 07:05

yes that's it, a non-molestation order, thank you Naice

RebootYourEngine · 04/03/2017 07:10

I would also look into getting a non molestation order. You need to protect yourself and the kids.

OnlyWantsOne · 04/03/2017 07:16

You've done the right thing!!!

Is there any one in RL that can physically support you through this xx

fumingbird · 04/03/2017 07:17

Have a look at this site for help with a quick non molestation order, www.ncdv.org.uk
Did the police talk about a dvpo?

Holly3434 · 04/03/2017 07:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

QuietNinjaTardis · 04/03/2017 07:34

Seriously? Hit report if you suspect troll but if this is real the woman needs advice and support not trolling.

Original poster
harrypotternerd · 04/03/2017 07:35

Holly, no it was not originally about the violence and they asked for a full history and they said they can still charge him for assault. I had no choice but to do the child exchanges because there is a family court order.

OP posts:
pnutter · 04/03/2017 07:36

Wind your neck in Holly?? How do you know what you would do in the situation!!!!

Original poster
harrypotternerd · 04/03/2017 07:38

sorry it was originally about the violence not the sexual assault.

OP posts:
FrenchLavender · 04/03/2017 07:50

yes holly I think the OP is saying that she reported the most recent violent assault and while making her statement the police asked for a full history so she disclosed the historic assaults, both violent and sexual. I agree it was a bit muddled in the wording but I don't think there is any reason to disbelieve her.

Original poster
harrypotternerd · 04/03/2017 07:53

yes that was what I was saying FrenchLavender. Sorry I wrote this not long after I came back from the police station (I am in Australia) and my mind was everywhere.

OP posts:
twattymctwatterson · 04/03/2017 08:21

Holly the ops posts make perfect sense. Perhaps you should check your reading comprehension before accusing someone of trolling after just a few posts

Holly3434 · 04/03/2017 08:33

T watty you've come onto this thread to not offer advice to OP but to me Biscuit

NaiceBiscuits · 04/03/2017 08:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
harrypotternerd · 04/03/2017 08:59

yes I have people with me, that is what was suggested by both the police and domestic violence service

OP posts:
BluebellsareBlue · 04/03/2017 09:05

OP, it doesn't matter what made you report now, you've done a brave thing and you can ask for bail conditions. Well done you, brace girl.

BluebellsareBlue · 04/03/2017 09:06

*brave