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Relationships

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Original poster

When is a date not a date?

16 replies

user1484478904 · 18/02/2017 22:49

Person (in a co-habiting relationship) goes out for a drink/meal with a person of the gender that they are attracted to. Person does not tell their partner about this, but lies and says they were going out with work colleagues.
Date or not a date?
Opinions please

OP posts:

NotTheFordType · 18/02/2017 22:50

Impossible to tell on information provided.

Did the night end with sex? If so, it was a date.

PhoenixJasmine · 18/02/2017 22:52

Does it matter? They lied to their partner. Surely that's the issue. Not the definition of what they were lying about doing.

80schild · 18/02/2017 22:53

Why lie if platonic? I would question further (and raise an eyebrow).

WhooooAmI24601 · 18/02/2017 22:54

The lie is what makes it a date. I spend time with friends away from DH often. He spends time away from me. Neither of us needs to lie to the other. Once you cross that line of needing to hide something, you're clearly doing something wrong.

FritzDonovan · 18/02/2017 22:54

Lie indicates they didn't want you to know, probably as you wouldn't like it. If it wasn't a date I assume you would be fine (eg old friends getting together), therefore the fact you wouldn't like it indicates it was a date imo.
Hiding = untrustworthy = date

Want2bSupermum · 18/02/2017 22:58

Did the night end with sex? If so, it was a date. I went on plenty of dates where it ended with a peck on the cheek and a 'goodnight, thank you for taking me out' before I shut the door and went to bed on my own.

I am hetrosexual and was out last night with 5 guys from work. One guy walked me to the subway stop. It was not a date. I am a married mother of 3 DC and he has a GF he cohabits with. I also had coffee last week with a colleague who left. He is male and I female. To others, I can see how it could look like a date but it wasn't at all.

Sweets101 · 18/02/2017 22:59

Date or not, they lied. Why?

Original poster

user1484478904 · 18/02/2017 23:16

Evening ended with a kiss from the other person (completely out of the blue!) Other person claimed sex was had in the car. 'Person' claims this to be untrue.
Other person claims constant calls and texts. 'Person' claims untrue.

OP posts:

DeterminedToChange · 18/02/2017 23:19

If the 'person' is your husband/partner, I'd believe the woman he was on a date with, personally.

FritzDonovan · 19/02/2017 00:03

Sounds bad. Has 'other person' any reason to lie? Are the texts still around (also check with 'other person', if they are adamant they happened.)
Would also believe the 'other person' they were out with, 'person' has been caught out, of course they are going to lie.

TheStoic · 19/02/2017 03:28

Well, it's cheating. Does it matter if you call it a 'date'?

chitofftheshovel · 19/02/2017 03:33

Very bloody cryptic.

LellyMcKelly · 19/02/2017 03:58

Yup, that's a date.

EyeStye · 19/02/2017 04:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VirgilsStaff · 19/02/2017 09:55

It's a date because of the lie about it.

ImperialBlether · 19/02/2017 10:01

Since the other person is talking about what happened, I think they should be asked for proof of these multiple calls/texts. If I saw proof of them, I'd believe the rest without hesitation.

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