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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

H not contacting kids

9 replies

User2410 · 31/01/2017 19:33

Hi again posted the other day about DH possibly cheating....but this is separate and I'm unsure if I'm being picky because I'm feeling insecure or not.
He's been police training for 2 weeks but he's facetimed with out 2 LO's only once and has spoken on the phone I think twice. Hardly any messages asking how they are. Is this normal? Is this another reason I should LTB! Or is it fair that he's focusing on his career. I'm. Literally confused over everything atm.
How much contact is right?

OP posts:
cheesydoesit · 31/01/2017 19:43

He's not focused on his career though is he? Yes, in this context I think it's another symptom of him being a selfish arse putting himself first. Sorry, I have read your other threads and the way he is treating you is unacceptable. My husband's been away twice for work and he video called our DD and me everyday, granted he is in a different business than yours but he called even if he was tired or short on time just to check in and let us know he was OK and to see if we were also alright.

Ilovecaindingle · 31/01/2017 19:44

Having a career isn't instead of being a parent to your dc though. . Ltb..

cheesydoesit · 31/01/2017 19:45

If anyone has experienced with partners being in police training though feel free to correct me but combined with your other thread I don't think it's a case of hi being career driven. Hope you're doing okay.

User2410 · 31/01/2017 19:47

I just don't wanna keep arguing, only last week he rang at half 7 but he knows they are in bed by 7 and I said where have u been since finishing work at 5 and he said gym food shower. When I said that he could have called before gym he said 'it's my job now to be physically fit'. Henloves that he thinks he has an excuse

OP posts:
petalsandstars · 31/01/2017 19:56

If me or DH are away we FaceTime or call every day as we miss our DC. He is being a twat and pretending he's a single man with no responsibility.

User2410 · 31/01/2017 20:07

MIL seems to think that I'm expecting too much because he has sooo much pressure to pass his tests ect. He usually leaves mid morning on Sunday but I'm meant to be working Sunday afternoon til early hours of the morning and I want to ask him to stay and leave in the morning which I don't think is too much to ask but I know he will say no and it'll cause a row. He's planned for a babysitter Friday night, I'm not sure what's planned but I don't want to ruin that. Should I let this one slide to see how Friday goes?

OP posts:
JumpingJetFlash · 31/01/2017 20:35

I haven't read your other thread so I could be way off base but I would say that when either I or DH are away we don't call/FaceTime every day as it's really unsettling for our DD - is it possible that's his reasoning?

User2410 · 31/01/2017 20:44

I wish that he would even consider such things . I doubt he has given them a second thought. Kinda takes them for granted or maybe just knows that of there was a problem I'd let him know.

OP posts:
User2410 · 31/01/2017 20:51

My DD is quite closed in and hard to figure out if something upsets her, she's 5 but she doesn't talk about him. She did make a comment last week saying 'I'm never ever ever ever seeing daddy again'. I worry about how things effect her.

OP posts:
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