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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I'm so sad, just need someone to talk to

29 replies

Gracey1231 · 31/01/2017 13:07

Hii
It's been 6 months since my ex and I broke up, and after Xmas he sent me messages saying he thinks about me almost every day, he loves me, his heart aches for me, but we can't talk anymore because of his religion and mine. And he blocked me on Whatsapp.

Ever since then I can't get him off my mind, I think about him so much and I was getting hold of moving on, I've tried everything to move on. He was the love of my life and I was his, I can't forget him.

I want him back desperately, I don't know what to do and I'm so upset. Sad

OP posts:
minmooch · 31/01/2017 13:13

If neither of you can convert to each other's religion and this will prevent you from being with each other then you need to block him so that he cannot reach you and take you back.

You need to distract distract distract. Fill your life so you have little time to think.

I don't believe in there being only one person for you so give yourself time to get over him then open yourself up to other possibilities.

Lovemusic33 · 31/01/2017 13:19

He shouldn't have messaged you at Christmas Sad it has obviously made things worse, made you think about him more. If you can't be together then you need to break all contact in order to be able to move on. I know it's really hard but things will get easier over time.

Original poster
Gracey1231 · 31/01/2017 13:53

I hope he does come back, it's the Xmas message that's caused this because I really was doing okay x

OP posts:
Oliversmumsarmy · 31/01/2017 14:03

What was the purpose of him messaging you. It has just caused you more heartache. He is not offering anything so for that alone I would block him completely and get on with your life.

He was the love of your life then and there will be others who will be the loves of your life in the future.

Block and move on

ShatnersWig · 31/01/2017 15:22

Sorry, but he was actually being a tosser messaging you like that at Xmas. That was a shitty thing to do.

Seriously, you need to block him and do whatever it takes to move on. You broke up six months ago and were doing OK and now you feel like crap again. If he cared about you, he wouldn't have contacted you in the way he did. Honestly. Tell yourself he was bastard to do that, don't waste any more tears and thoughts on him (you will have done more than enough six months ago) and fill your time with good stuff to do.

Lovemusic33 · 31/01/2017 15:33

He's not coming back, it's been 6 months, he is just messing with your head. You will get over him and move on but to do that you need to not have any contact with him.

Oly5 · 31/01/2017 15:36

he's not the love of your life. The person who is will be with you and make you happy. Put your energy into finding that person. Xx

Original poster
Gracey1231 · 31/01/2017 17:14

He messaged me after Xmas because he blocked me before hand and I never tried to contact him.
I know I should be moved on by now but my gut tells me there's still a chance

OP posts:
Oliversmumsarmy · 03/02/2017 08:13

Forget it. This is not going anywhere. Move on and block him.

To be honest my gut feel when you said in your op that he texted you after Christmas was he was an mind f*king A**hole.

noego · 03/02/2017 19:26

If its true love then religion wouldn't get in the way. If it does and religion comes first and before you or him then it is not going to work.

user1478860582 · 03/02/2017 19:31

Is it the fact that he's unobtainable that's making him more attractive or him as a person? Take some time to figure that out in your own head first. Then think about contacting him.

Tell him how you feel, but also tell him that you can't wait forever for him. Give him a set period (a week at most) to make his mind up. If he can't or won't, then you have to move on.

Good luck.

Oliversmumsarmy · 04/02/2017 00:45

He texted her for no other reason than to mess with her head and give himself an ego boost not to say that he was free to have a relationship with him.

Original poster
Gracey1231 · 08/02/2017 00:03

Apparently he text me because he couldn't just "block me and disappear"
I can't think of why I'm still so upset. How long does it take to be happy again

OP posts:
TheElephantofSurprise · 08/02/2017 00:07

Can take a long time. Keep busy. Meet someone else.

Cricrichan · 08/02/2017 00:28

Forget about him. If he cared about you and really couldn't be with you for whatever reason, he wouldn't message you . But what religion stops you two from having a relationship?? He's just using it as an excuse.

Move on xx

Original poster
Gracey1231 · 08/02/2017 00:39

He's a Jehovah's Witness, they're not supposed to be with those outside the faith xxx

OP posts:
springydaffs · 08/02/2017 01:11

Work of the devil IMHO. Millions of them in my extended family

You could pray his eyes are opened that he's in a cult. I'm serious.

springydaffs · 08/02/2017 01:14

If he did end up with you, chances are high he would never see his family again. Miracles aside, would you want that for him? It's a mighty painful thing.

Perhaps let him go with love - for him. It would take your mind off your own heartache.

Oliversmumsarmy · 08/02/2017 01:15

Apparently he text me because he couldn't just "block me and disappear

Yes he could.

Why text in the first place. He has just upset you for his own selfish reasons. Nothing has changed.

Original poster
Gracey1231 · 08/02/2017 01:26

Well it's so weird cos his mum was a Jehovah's too and she wanted him to get back with me when we broke up. I need to take time and think about why I'm so upset over him. It's just manifesting

Oliversmumsarmy - I was thinking the same I was fine until he said ball this how much it hurts him that we won't be together

He's started self harming and being anxious and depressed since we broke up and he got involved with his religion again so for him I do hope he leaves the cult

OP posts:
Original poster
Gracey1231 · 08/02/2017 01:28

Thank you for all the advice and nice messages Flowers it's so kind and I appreciate it so much xxx

OP posts:
category12 · 08/02/2017 07:18

How do you know all this? Honestly you need to stop engaging with him or his family members. It's just dragging it out.

tobedo · 08/02/2017 08:22

He sounds very unstable, being a committed JW should prevent him from self harming.

Too much drama, you're best off out of it.

Original poster
Gracey1231 · 08/02/2017 11:47

I know all this from his messages and from about 6 months ago I don't speak to his family.

I thought that too but he's only started self harming since going bacj

OP posts:
noego · 08/02/2017 12:09

You will never win against the programming and conditioning of the JW movement.
Leave it all behind, move on.