Amicable time out - do I need to see a solicitor?

[Dontsayyouloveme]

My husband and I are informally separating. He's moving into his dads in four weeks time after I've told him the relationship is over. After talking over last few days, we've agreed I need space to have a think and whilst we sort out finances, possible house sale etc. He is hoping it works out but I'm not so sure it's possible. It's all very amicable and in the meantime he's making sure I have enough money for me and our son to stay in the family home, we are both happy with child access arrangements too. My friends are telling me I need to see a solicitor but I'm not sure why I need go so early on, whilst we are going to be looking at a formal separation (I could go straight in for a divorce when the time comes) in probably a few months time and whilst we are sorting out finances, house move etc. I don't want to waste £150+vat at this time. I've had three free initial consultations so far so I have an idea where I stand at present. Any idea anyone? Thanks in advance

Me and my ex husband separated in October, we sold our house in November and haven't involved a solicitor for any part of this. Unless you need to arrange custody and can't do so amicably then I don't see why you would need to speak to them? They do offer a half hour free consultation if you want to put your mind at ease? X

Hi Summerb,

The only thing that worries me is that without a divorce, he can actually come after any money I might inherit, or indeed any proceeds from sale if the house. He has said to me that he wouldnt dream of doing that and that he would happily sign away any proceeds from sale of house etc as it would all go to our son eventually anyway. I think friends are worried in case he suddenly decides to change his mind and stop being so nice and grown up about it. Child custody and money tiqardscstdtibg in family homevfurvthe time being all sorted amazingly amicably so far! I'll call a different solicitor this week for another free half hour, and ask specifically about this.

Hope you're doing ok.

Thanks for replying

• money towards staying in the family home in the meantime!!

I'm not drunk... promise

Amicable can switch to acrimonious very, very quickly. Especially as it seems that he's hoping for a reconciliation, and you're looking at divorce. Time to get lawyered up - both of you.

If you are sorting out arrangements without conflict, I think it would be wise to keep solicitors out of it. They are in the business of creating work for themselves and may advise you to protect yourself and start legal proceedings that are not necessary. It may send a message to your former partner that you do not trust him, and cost you considerable sums of money in the meantime. If you want general legal advice as to your position, you could ask the Citizens advice bureau about your rights regarding housing etc. If you feel vulnerable, why not write down an informal agreement between you and your partner stating who pays what and when?

Seeing - this is what so am worried about, he can be aggressive and turn if provoked which could easily be when I do say to him after a period of him having moved out, 'you know what, its definitely over'!

Scooby - that's the issue that's broken the marriage, trust! I cannot trust him as far as I could throw him and so therein lies my answer. I think it could be time to protect myself and my son, legally.

Thanks to you both!