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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friendship with previous partner and moving on

13 replies

IamMee · 28/01/2017 07:34

Had a brief romance with (lets call him David), he called it off, wasn't ready for relationship. We have become really good friends, spending time together each weekend, mostly with kids. We now know each other far better than when we were seeing each other, he treats me better now than then. Problem is I still think I like him, but perhaps it's because I haven't met someone else yet. To put into perspective we dated for about 2.5 months, finished about 6 months ago. Chatted to someone online and we are going for a walk today, seeing friend tomorrow, why do I feel guilty? Should I mention something to David? Feel I should but don't know why or how, what would you do? We live in a close bit community so David will hear sooner or later, feel it's better coming from me, but just don't know.

OP posts:
Shayelle · 28/01/2017 07:35

Dont feel guilty. You want different things. Dont say anything! Meet this guy and go for a walk. You dont owe david a thing!!!

IamMee · 28/01/2017 07:43

Thank you! You are right about wanting different things, helps me feel less guilty being reminded of that!

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Shayelle · 28/01/2017 07:49

Also, he wasnt ever really a partner was he. He ended a brief fling with you but wanted to keep you as a friend. So you were ok as a friend, but not good enough to actually be with? Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it. You deserve better!!

Hassled · 28/01/2017 07:50

If you think you still like him you should probably have a bit of a break from the David-friendship thing. Having lovely weekends with him is not ever going to help you move on. Enjoy your new date and don't feel guilty for a minute.

IamMee · 28/01/2017 07:50

Thanks you! Yep you are right again! No he wasn't... as soon as I posted I realised that was the wrong word to use!

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Shayelle · 28/01/2017 07:52

Let us know how the walk goes Smile

Surreyblah · 28/01/2017 07:53

I would cut back dramatically on time with him, for your and DCs' sake.

Surreyblah · 28/01/2017 07:54

You don't need ex bfs who dumped you as "friends".

cosytoaster · 28/01/2017 08:02

He didn't want a relationship with you so he can hardly say anything about you dating someone else. Hope the walk goes well....come back and update us Grin

IamMee · 28/01/2017 08:08

Thanks I will, and yes must try and reduce time spent with David, not easy though as the kids are really good friends

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Surreyblah · 28/01/2017 08:11

Even more reason to cut back IMO. Did the Dc even know each other before?

IamMee · 28/01/2017 08:25

Yep, one of Davids siblings is a god parent to one of my Dc's.... What a tangled web we weave!!

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IamMee · 28/01/2017 12:18

Ah it didn't happen, possibly later in the week, thanks thoughbfor thenadcixe and support

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