What do you make of this?

[Past1960]

Namechanged.

18/20 years ago I haa a 'thing' with this bloke. Lets call him Fred.

Fred was 9/10 years older than me, I think I was 19? I met Fred at work. I don't think I looked twice at Fred as he wasn't my type. But did note he was good looking in a well groomed sort of way.

Anyway, Fred persuded me. At the time I didn't drive so he used to ick me up and we'd go to his place. We never went 'out'.

So you may be thinking bootycall? Yep I would agree and this is were is gets strange..... We used to do lots of sexual stuff but didn't have sex. I don't think I pushed it with him, was young, not much confidencd etc. this continued for a long time on and off I think.

Then one day we met up and went to his new flat, same senario but had sex. I cried and said it was because I loved someone else but really I think I'd never experienced anything so intense. I was hung up on some other loser though.

He also said I'd look really sexy pregnant?

What do you think was going on?

I never saw him again after that.

I would like to ask him but not sure what dh would think and his wife.

Sexual stuff?

So you had non penetrative sex?
Then you had penetrative sex?
Then ypou cried and admitted loving someone else and are wondering why he didn't call you back? Maybe because you cried and said you loved someone else?

Nah I get that bit.

Why didn't he want to have sex with me? He obviously wasn't that into me or he would of taken me out?

I haven't thought about this all these years, just got in touch on fb.

Feel bad.

Who knows why he didn't take you out? That bit is odd I guess.

But the sex thing? I don't get that?
You did have sex, just not penetrative.
Or was out all one way? You pleasuring him etc?

If that's the case then I'd say he was using you for sex.

I'm pretty sure it was more in my favour. I was pretty timid back then when it came to sex.

I think I thought he was using me and thats why I didn't really think that it might of hurt him.

I suppose in my experience blokes want to go the full hog. Seems unusual. It makes me wonder if he was seeing someone else? But lits of people at work knew?

I'd suggest puti g into the memory locker and not worrying about it. Easier said than done though.

The only person who can tell you what they were thinking is the man involved. But dragging it all up may cause more issues than the answers are worth.

He used you, you used him, nowadays it'd be called 'friends with benefits' I guess.

I know your right. Its just playing on mind.

Any more thoughts?

Anyone?

Honestly I see nothing strange.

He knew you were inexperienced so didn't push it.

You then had sex.

You realised you loved someone else.

What's the quandary?

Just trying to figure it out in my own mind. Thanks for view point.

I wasn't in love with someone else but was hung up on them more than Fred.

Sorry if that came across rude I just genuinely meant it seemed clear-cut.

I think Fred may well have been in a relationship, so therefore, could justify "sexual stuff whatever that is but, stopped short of PIV for as long as possible. Quite possibly enjoyed the other stuff more than PIV like a lot of men do anyway, is another possibility?

I think you know why it ended, after what you said. Any man with an ounce of self respect would've done the same