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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need a hug

5 replies

neverumind · 14/01/2017 22:44

Needing cheered up please. I've been single since marriage split 5 years ago, noticed nice new guy at work, broadly smiled (fairly innocuously I thought) at him 1 day & he started to act weird & awkard when he saw me, ignoring me then talking to me etc. Couldn't figure out what I'd done as sincerely thought I'm just being friendly with no intention, later found out he's married. Have to say made me feel so depressed that I can't even acknowledge a man like this without this sort of reaction, confidence way down. Guess I've just been unlucky but thinking I've missed out on all the good ones ☹️

OP posts:
SamanthaUnkim · 14/01/2017 23:30

Please revive your confidence..
If you've had that kind of effect just by smiling, I would guess you can still rock someones world.. I sometimes feel invisible

wonderstuff · 14/01/2017 23:37

The issue is the bloke and not you. But you know that surely? I'd agree with SamanthaUnkim you must be pretty hot for him to come over all unnecessary from a smile.

neverumind · 14/01/2017 23:51

Thanks for your vote of confidence (but not true thought he couldn't wait to get away from me) sometimes feel like a ghost myself Sam trying to make connection but not getting it right

OP posts:
JK1773 · 15/01/2017 00:25

Big hug xxx Try to put this behind you. He's not the man for you, just a lesson along the way. I had a similar thing happen to me last year but it went further, he was messaging me all the time, with kisses etc every night, every morning. I was fairly newly single and vulnerable. He played me, he came to my house one night after I'd declared I had feelings and just as things were happening he told me he had a GF. I was devastated, bereft. But it does get better, I promise and it's absolutely true that when you very least expect it something amazing happens. Over a year later I met up with someone I'd known distantly for years. I couldn't be happier right now. It's early days but things are looking good and in the meantime I learnt that actually I'm very happy just being me on my own. Xx

PaterPower · 15/01/2017 00:29

Body language can be difficult and perhaps he's got himself into some trouble in the past where a work relationship has edged towards the boundaries (or over them) so now he's very cautious. Or perhaps he has a very jealous wife, or...

Whatever it is, it's almost certainly not going to be about you per se; you've done nothing wrong at all. Next time you see him just be completely professional, exactly as you were being, and leave him to sort his own issues out.

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