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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

First time online dater, help!

28 replies

12345a · 12/01/2017 08:34

I have not told any personal friends that I am OLD but need some advice.
I have met an amazing man Online and we swopped numbers, names, family pictures and spoke on the phone for hours. The chemistry between us was instant. After a few days he started to sext, nothing too crude and then out of the blue he face timed me. It was lovely speaking with him face to face and we knew we wanted to meet eachother and made plans. He has a reputable career on line.
Then one night I let go of inhibitions and started to respond to him with more revealing pictures and one thing led to another. Needless to say I've fallen for him, I thought he had too from the things he was saying and his expressions.
I told him that I was nervous about meeting at his home and that perhaps we were moving too quickly too fast. He agreed we need to slow down if we were going to give our relationship a chance to develop. Later he texted me that he still wanted to meet me but had to cancel our first date . I've had no contact in the last day when I used to get good night and morning texts.
It's my first experience online and the first person I've opened up for over a year. He seems perfect and could be feeling various like me. On the other hand he could have had his excitement and is trying to keep me on tap. Does anyone have any advice or experience about this, no judgement please, I already know I've been a little naive and think I know some obvious advice that's coming my way...

OP posts:
Quarksoundslikequack · 12/01/2017 18:36

Hey OP,
Don't let this put you off.

I met my ex on tinder, we both agreed to be FWB (work on the friends part!), we started talking at 7:30am & met at 9pm. He was your usual online dickhead who was just looking for one thing....we ended up in an 8 month relationship, however I now believe that he stayed out of convenience of regular sex!

If they walk, wave them goodbye....he's probably an asshole anyway! Be grateful he's jogged on, I can only wish my ex did the same after the first night we met.

Suss them out & don't rush, TAKE NOTE OF THE RED FLAGS! I didn't bother, not even on the first night when he said "get out of my truck then, I want to go home, then told me to message him as he didn't do chasing".

You'll find someone who wants to know YOU & will happily let the sex follow.
I have sexted with guys in the past and not thought anything of it because il be honest, I assumed it was normal at 24?? Maybe I'm stupid, I don't know!

12345a · 12/01/2017 20:43

We were due to meet tomorrow but he postponed after I said I was nervous. Luckily no explicit pics of me were sent! I've backed off thanks to advice, it was fun just not my way of starting off my online dating experience.

OP posts:
minmooch · 12/01/2017 20:50

Oh gawd.

Why would trust someone you've never met?

How can you know someone you've never met?

How can you fall for someone you e never met?

And sexting a complete stranger?

Another man looking for easy prey to which you have fallen.

Learn not to waste your time.

If you think you have something in common with someone then meet in real life. If they keep finding excuses not to meet then they are players.

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