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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

A question about OLD

8 replies

darknessontheedgeoftown · 09/01/2017 08:12

Hello. I've relatively recently put up an OLD profile. I'm male and late 30s. I sent some messages and got some responses, more than I expected. I'm going to hopefully meet some of the people who responded in real life, obviously I will tell them that I am meeting other people iyswim before seeing if there is a chance of an exclusive relationship. I am worried that I will be a disappointment when I turn up. My photos are recent, this summer and they do look like me, but they are the best photos of a set of lots I took. I am a bit lacking in confidence and worried I will get rejected.

OP posts:
everythingis · 09/01/2017 08:18

If they are recent and you arnt wearing sunglasses it will be fine. My dp old photos were like mug shots but he had something about him so I met him - a rugged hunk turned up I couldn't believe my luck! We have been together 2 years now and are v happy.
Good luck Flowers

Freedom2017 · 09/01/2017 08:21

I find most people look better in real life than in photos so don't worry about it too much. What's worse is photos where the person looks like a pinprick in the distance.

Freedom2017 · 09/01/2017 08:23

Also don't make a big deal about seeing other people. I would be offended if you turned up on a date and made an announcement that you were seeing several other women. I might assume you were but wouldn't need a discussion about it.

Cricrichan · 09/01/2017 08:25

Most people, except maybe the carefully photographed selfies that some girls take, look much better irl.

darknessontheedgeoftown · 09/01/2017 08:33

Better in real life? Really. I'd never ever considered that. I read a thread here saying there were basically many more good-looking women than men 35plus and based on what I've seen I'd have to agree. Obviously looks aren't everything to everyone. I take the point re not announcing about seeing others too.

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Pooky77 · 09/01/2017 08:33

Don't worry about your photos everyone will be using the photos they feel they look best in and honestly no one will judge you too much unless they are really old pictures and you've changed drastically. I second what pp said about not stating you are seeing other people. This would be the assumption I would make when old so no need to point it out.

everythingis · 09/01/2017 10:29

Yes to not stating you are meeting up with other people.
Don't post photos of you doing extreme sports either it's such a cliche.
Don't think you have to look perfect - a genuine photo is much more appealing

darknessontheedgeoftown · 09/01/2017 10:52

Ok that is very useful. I don't do extreme sports. I was pleasantly surprised that even when my messages disclosing interest were rejected it was done so kindly. "I don't think our profiles quite match" sounds a lot better than some of the brutal rejections I got in real life when I was younger!

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