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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you end it

9 replies

westeringhome · 03/01/2017 13:52

I posted a few weeks ago about OH not coming home after a night out. Since then all was ok but last night after a family do he went to the pub to get fags and a pint. That was no problem, he also got a lift home from my eldest son at a decent hour so all was ok. Well when I got up I saw his phone glowing so I looked and there was a message from a woman saying "sorry no, am working sad face". I stupidly opened the message and he's asked her of she was out last night. Scrolled back a bit and there's a huge gap between that message and some from 2015. Probably deleted. The ones from 2015 were reminiscing about sexploits in their youth. Quite graphic and it was clearly him pushing the sex talk. I asked him if he was looking for anyone last night and he said no. I told him all I'd seen and he denies there's anything to it. I want out, I'm not waiting to see what shit he comes away with next. I have no money, I have up my business to have my 2 babies and I don't know what to do. How do you leave?

OP posts:
RunRabbitRunRabbit · 03/01/2017 13:54

Are you married? Separate finances or not? Housing situation? What kind of business were you in? Kids at school yet?

westeringhome · 03/01/2017 13:55

*gave my business up

OP posts:
westeringhome · 03/01/2017 13:57

Not married, living in rented accom, his name on lease, we're also doing up a house that I've got thousands tied up in. Did beauty therapy. Kids 2 and 4 months.

OP posts:
InfoFreako · 03/01/2017 13:59

Sorry to hear this.

As others have said, many factors to consider (e.g. housing). Maybe writing a list of things to action would help?

He sounds like he's looking around for other women. Personally, a partner who'd rather be at the pub then at home with me would be a red flag.

Cheers.

westeringhome · 03/01/2017 14:01

Thanks for replying. I am out for a drive to clear my head and will try and think what to do. Sorry if I don't reply straight away. Feel like a right idiot

OP posts:
RunRabbitRunRabbit · 03/01/2017 16:57

What's your legal protection on the renovation project? Is it in your name? Have you got a shared ownership agreement?

westeringhome · 03/01/2017 17:37

No legal protection, not in my name as wasn't earning at the time, was too stupid to get any agreement drawn up. I can get my money out I know that'll be no problem, but in the short term I've no idea how to set things in motion. Feeling overwhelmed as it is looking after 2 youngsters on my own all the time, hardly able to contemplate what happens now. Just remembered its joint tenancy here. See, can't even think straight. I will ring housing in the morning see if there's anything I can do. Just want out of here.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 03/01/2017 20:01

Well done for deciding to end it. It's just a matter of time before he cheats if he hasn't already.

0dfod · 03/01/2017 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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