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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not strong enough for AIBU, probably am, but if a bloke says kids are ok on OLD he should state if he means 'only if they've grown up and shipped out'

2 replies

Foslady · 18/12/2016 11:58

Sorry, but I'm fed up to the back teeth of men who say they're ok with kids and then when I say how old dd is firstly say that it's ok, send a couple more messages then ghost me. I didn't had dd til I was 34, and she's almost 14 now. I never contact blokes who say they don't want kids or say that they have no ties so are looking for time away with someone, and I mention her age usually fairly early on (i.e. before a meet up). It's getting to me that she's been viewed as an 'inconvenience' - imagine how the blokes would have felt if someone had said that about them at that age?
Sorry, I just needed to get this out there, and please don't flame me because I know I'me being unreasonable, I'm just lonely and fed up of being on my own with no one there for me at the end of the day or for me to be there for them. Few women would say to a bloke having a 14 yr old dd was an inconvenience because they wouldn't expect her to be there all the time. I just hate the hypocrisy and unfairness between single mums and single dads.

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 18/12/2016 12:13

I'm a single mum and I understand that frustration. I did meet a few nice guys OLD who weren't like this at all.

There are some good guys out there. After 6 years of singledom (apart from a few dates a a couple of short term situations) I have met someone but taking it slow.

I know being on your own can get to you. Let me ask you. How long have you been single for?

Foslady · 18/12/2016 12:18

Coming up 8 years now. I had a sort of LDR (talking continents) but nothing 'proper'. Xh left when dd was 6 and I threw myself into looking after her, making sure she was ok, and now she's (almost) 14 I thought it was time to claim some time for me and my needs......but I guess I've missed the boat, or at least that's how it feels

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