I've lost the love of my life.

[Christmasheartache]

Thats it.
Won't have me back.
We had a rough time (it's was a really bad year for me, a lot of loss) and I went a bit off the deep end.
We just couldn't weather through it, various issues. I wanted to try again. New year. New circumstances.

They won't even entertain the idea.

I'm utterly heartbroken. Never felt like this in my life. I feel lost. I've lost weight. I can't sleep. I just cry.

It's the most horrible feeling in the world :(

is us women here, while telling our story and the men are clearly not bothered or they wouldn't have behaved in the ways that they have

Or they have just chosen not to share it on the internet.

The idea you end a difficult relationship because you're 'not bothered' makes no sense at all.

And in this case you have ascribed all this to another woman anyway = total bollocks.

OP with the best will in the world you cant pin all your happiness on one person.

It will get better honest but if your on ad's and really struggling I'd recommend a GP visit to check your mood

Don't contact him. Don't take the friendship either. Too hurtful and confusing for you.

Clean break.

You can do it.

Edit: her sorry, but the advice is still the same

Desiree I'm sure you're insults towards me are helping the OP! Grow up your opinion doesn't matter to me!