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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I ended it due to his anxiety

6 replies

debbs77 · 15/12/2016 21:39

And I feel pretty pants about it!

Been dating someone for a couple of months. Really lovely guy. But he suffers from anxiety, and this makes his withdrawn and hard to communicate with.

I'm not high maintenance in the slightest, but I do expect butterflies, to enjoy learning about each other, to be talking regularly etc in the early stages of a relationship. But due to his anxiety he struggles with this. I might get just two text a day of one or two words. Rarely asks questions back. I doubt he could tell you much about me whereas I've shown an interest in him.

Just feeling a bit crap and non-understanding

OP posts:
Cakeycakecake · 15/12/2016 21:48

Oh god no, imo you did the right thing. He's not in the right place for a relationship if he's like this. You move on and don't feel bad. The start of a relationship is supposed to be the honeymoon period it's not supposed to be this hard

ALaughAMinute · 15/12/2016 21:51

Don't feel guilty. He needs help, you did the right thing.

RolfsBabyGrand · 15/12/2016 21:51

Don't feel crap. cakey is spot on - first 2 months shouldn't be hard work.

Cakeycakecake · 15/12/2016 22:02

Right twice in one day ☺️
Hope you're ok op. Hard when you know they're decent deep down but you can't get in. Just try to keep in mind that your needs are important- and he's not meeting them. It's not his fault, but nor is it yours. If you bought an item from the shop that was described, advertised as one thing and turned out not to be... you'd return it and swap it for something else or keep looking. That sounds callous, I'm sorry. But from an unemotional perspective... can you see wheee I'm going with it?
I've recently had a break up. Because it simply wasn't right. Am I wanting to message him? Yup. Cause better the devil you know sometimes. But if it's not good for you, don't have it anymore

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 15/12/2016 22:15

My husband of 20 years has had anxiety the whole time, run now.

debbs77 · 15/12/2016 22:41

Ah you've all made me feel better!

He is lovely, but I just knew it wasn't right. Like you say, it shouldn't be this hard!

OP posts:
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