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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Husband reported my bank card as 'stolen'

17 replies

onceatwatalwaysatwat · 06/12/2016 15:36

NC for this.

Husband & I have been separated for nearly a year. We both live in our places. It has a very bitter split.

he hacked into my email account over the weekend & found emails between myself & my new partner. He went ballistic - lots of name calling, treating to post details to friends etc. After endless phone calls & messages I blocked his number for some peace.

We still have a joint bank acct due to business reasons. I went to pay for a £20 shop yesterday & my card was declined - I was very pissed off as I only had £30 in cash and no way of getting to a cash point for a while. When I got home I decided to pay some bills online (thinking it must have just been a blip in the shop). Cannot get on-line there is a problem with your card.
So I had to phone him to find out if he was having problems with his card as well ' oh yes I reported your card as stolen because you blocked me on the phone '
The bank wouldn't send out a new card until HE phoned them - so 3 days without a card (minimum) , £10 to my name & now I find out he has changed the address to his so I have to be at his mercy to tell me when it arrives !!!! How can he even report MY card as stolen ???

OP posts:

IfartInYourGeneralDirection · 06/12/2016 15:38

Separate accounts, theres no reason for you to still have joined, business or not

OohhThatsMe · 06/12/2016 15:40

You need to close that account, OP, or take your name off it. How much was in it? Why do you still need it?

SlottedSpoon · 06/12/2016 15:40

If he is the primary account holder and you are the secondary then he can.
And there is no point in you even complaining to the bank about it because you haven't informed them of your change of address or change of circumstances.

He has been an immature arse but if it was an acrimonious split you were daft to keep a joint account going with him. At least now you will be galvanised into changing that.

Original poster

onceatwatalwaysatwat · 06/12/2016 15:42

We only kept it because we were paying off some joint debts. I have just sold some jewellery & when the money comes through I will be opening my account with it.

OP posts:

TheNaze73 · 06/12/2016 16:20

Tell the bank. As it stands, you're subject to joint & several liability, so he could theoretically, get a 15k overdraft, spunk all the money & you'd be liable.
They will freeze the account if there's any sign of a dispute.
Protect yourself

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 06/12/2016 16:22

Get out of the joint account asap!. As a PP said you are leaving yourself open to all sorts.

GinIsIn · 06/12/2016 16:23

Pop into branch with your passport for ID, withdraw all funds and close the account.

Toffeelatteplease · 06/12/2016 16:32

Please call the bank and get the account frozen ASAP. If you have joint credit cards cancel them and get closing statements off everything.

Get your address put back on that bank account.

BitOutOfPractice · 06/12/2016 16:34

I cannot believe a bank would cancel a card and change an address without speaking to the card holder. That seems dodgy in and of itself. I'd go into the branch and play merry hell

As for your ex, he's an abusive arse but you already know that

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 06/12/2016 16:38

I cannot believe a bank would cancel a card and change an address without speaking to the card holder.

Isn't that the point of a joint account? That either of you can do anything to the account?

BitOutOfPractice · 06/12/2016 16:39

I know the account is but the card itself is in one name only isn't it? Just seems very lax when the water company won't even speak to me because the account is in exH's name who hasn't lived here for 10 years

Hellmouth · 06/12/2016 16:41

We only kept it because we were paying off some joint debts

So why then are you using it for regular expenses? The only stuff coming out should be debt repayments. You've kind of only brought this into yourself. It's definitely time to get your own account

BitOutOfPractice · 06/12/2016 22:23

She has not "brought it on herself"

DonaldTrumpsWig · 08/12/2016 00:39

Once you've got it sorted and have your own account in place, report his card as stolen as a parting shot before you are removed from the account forever. (Preferably on a Saturday afternoon so the banks won't be open til Monday.) See how he likes it.

ThisThingCalledLife · 08/12/2016 01:52

report his passport as 'lost'

AmeliaJack · 08/12/2016 02:00

Go and speak to your branch manager. You may be able to get the new cards posted to your branch.

But yes:

Get a separate account.
Get a new email account with an unhackable password
Remove yourself from anything else joint.

Lipsy234 · 08/12/2016 02:01

Thats ridiculous, what a big baby. Lots of good advice on here though, i would go in with id and then clear and close it.

Flip