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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Anyone with experience of Occupation / non mol orders?

8 replies

whatminniedidnext · 03/12/2016 18:49

I wonder if any of you have any knowledge of Occupation / Non Mol Orders?

Recently out of an abusive (mainly emotionally) relationship, solicitors involved. I'm a SAHM to two DC under 3. I am in the family home (jointly owned) and have told him not to come back due to previous abuse.

He keeps turning up with barely any notice.., to collect his "stuff".

He has also taken the (also jointly owned!) car as it is registered in his name, so I have no means of getting around atm Confused

He has cancelled all bills and put them all in my name so I can pay for them. I am paying the whole mortgage out of my child maintenance (his decision). He said he would only pay bills if I agree to him returning here to live. Not bloody likely!

What do you think my chances are of getting an OO / NM order? I want to apply now but scared they'll tell him to return and live in spare room or something? If that happened I would have to leave and rent for now but I'd need time to pack up, find a rental etc...

OP posts:
BantyCustards · 03/12/2016 21:15

So he's financially abusive too.

Have you spoken to your solicitor about where you stand. That will be the bests place to start.

Document everything - it could prove useful.

Are you claiming everything you can claim from the DWP? TurnToUs has a great benefits checker to make sure you're getting everything.

Is child maintenance voluntary? If it is I would make an application to the CMS to deter him from stopping maintenance.

Original poster
whatminniedidnext · 03/12/2016 21:28

I have all my benefits now apart from Child Benefit (still waiting to hear).

He needs to pay Child Maintenance and has come up with a figure which matches what I calculated but can't really understand why he is deducting mortgage from it! Confused He is living with family atm and has no outgoings and a very good salary.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatminniedidnext · 03/12/2016 21:28

Yes will be speaking to my solicitor too x

OP posts:
mummymummums · 03/12/2016 21:30

As well as deciding whether you have grounds, the court will do a 'balance of harm' test to see if the harm to him if he's excluded outweighs harm to you if he returns. If he has a stable alternative place to stay that would help. But as you seem to know, as joint owner, he has a right to come and go unless you get an order.

Original poster
whatminniedidnext · 03/12/2016 22:27

Yes, he has a stable place fo stay - 5 mins away. I have a police report of assault also.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatminniedidnext · 03/12/2016 22:28

Him assaulting me, that is

OP posts:
BantyCustards · 03/12/2016 23:23

Was he charged?

Original poster
whatminniedidnext · 03/12/2016 23:32

Nope... I didn't press charges but childrens services did follow up with me as they were made aware

OP posts:
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