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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What would you do? Hot guy at work

27 replies

thepennyshop · 28/11/2016 22:47

This is going to sound like a pathetic post, but I'm just wondering how people actually get something off the ground when they meet someone they fancy.

I've been divorced for nearly 2 years, not even been on a date yet due to young children, but the spirit is willing.

I keep on having this amazing eye contact with this nice looking guy at work - but we've never actually spoken!

He works in a different department to me, so we pass in the corridor, or see each other in the canteen.

He is definitely in my league, and definitely interested (I think!).

I know it might sound pathetic, so I haven't bothered telling any friends, as there is nothing to tell. I just wondered what other people would do if they met someone they fancy? It seems a shame to completely ignore a nice spark with a good prospect. But at the same time what on earth do I do while still keeping my dignity in tact?!

Plus I've been 'browsing' on internet dating for 6mths, but not even seen a half decent prospect on there.

I'd love to know what a 'normal' person would do in this situation!!

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 28/11/2016 22:51

Ask him out is what they'd do

Wolfiefan · 28/11/2016 22:52

Amazing eye contact?!?! What is that even?Grin
Speak to the bloke. He could be a total asshat?! If you don't make conversation then you will never know.

thepennyshop · 28/11/2016 22:53

Argh - but what would I say????

OP posts:
SleepingTiger · 28/11/2016 22:53

Keep the eye contact a little longer. Smile a little longer, make an excuse to say a little more than you would do to a stranger. There are no rules to these things. At some point one of you will have to say "shall we get a coffee" or something similar. It will then follow on from that, it will come to you.

LesisMiserable · 28/11/2016 22:53

First of all, do you know he's a good prospect i.e. single? If the answer is yes the of course you just have to orchestrate a way to talk to him. Get behind him in the queue at the canteen. Find a reason to go to his department and ask him something. It really doesn't matter if he sees right through you, if he likes you he will appreciate the effort. Just be careful, it maybe that he hasn't made an approach because he isn't free to do so.

Also, f**k dignity, life is too short. If he's single, just got for it.

AddToBasket · 28/11/2016 22:55

You will need to speak to him at some point.

So, be around and ready to chat, then after you have spoken, find some reason to get his email address and send him an email about something (not asking out something). Then it will be easier to suss out whether to be direct and you can plan it carefully if you write it down. That's what I'd do anyway.

Permanentlyexhausted · 28/11/2016 22:56

Ask him out for a drink after work. What's the worst that could happen? If he turns you down and is a wanker about it, you'll know you had a lucky escape!

PlaymobilPirate · 28/11/2016 22:57

Depends on whether he's available really - do you know his name? stalk him on facebook

Wolfiefan · 28/11/2016 22:58

Smile.
Say hi.
Make stupid small talk. Explain you've seen him about but never managed a chat. Does he want to sit with you for lunch? See how it goes.

thepennyshop · 28/11/2016 22:58

Ah thanks for the good tips - no I don't know if he's single. Have Facebook stalked him, and didn't see any partner there. But ok, I think I could do the smile a little longer thing, or go to his department thing. That all sounds ok. Plus it's true I don't have much to lose. And if he sees right through me it doesn't matter that much.

OP posts:
talksensetome · 28/11/2016 23:00

I would just make conversation, like hiya, did you have a good weekend? Or wow is cold out thee today. Just something light and money specific to start a convo, you will tell from how much effort he makes to keep the convo going Wether he is interested or not.

Wolfiefan · 28/11/2016 23:01

You're more likely to "see through him" OP! What makes you lack confidence so badly?!
I wouldn't just immediately ask him out though. If you see him around a lot at work and it doesn't go well then it could be really awkward!

AddToBasket · 28/11/2016 23:02

Very exciting, OP. Good luck.

thepennyshop · 28/11/2016 23:02

Yeah that sounds a good idea - like comment on the weather. Something light.
I know once we speak it will be obvious if he's interested or not, or if we even get on. Sounds achievable! Now I need to make sure I don't chicken out...!

OP posts:
CondensedMilkSarnies · 28/11/2016 23:08

Drop your hankie as you walk past him , according to all the dramas I've seen on tv , he will pick it up and Bobs your uncle Grin

Wolfiefan · 28/11/2016 23:09

Stand by a puddle. He should throw his coat over it!
Grin

CondensedMilkSarnies · 28/11/2016 23:11

Still living in the olden days like me Wolfie Grin

Permanentlyexhausted · 28/11/2016 23:13

Or try the 'Bend and snap' as performed by Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=X-4tIs00NvM

MummyStep123 · 28/11/2016 23:16

Shameless place marking
Hope this turns into a romantic story for you OP! Please let us know what happens Flowers

AnnieAnoniMouse · 28/11/2016 23:18

I'm excited for you. I think it's a lovely stage & shouldn't be rushed! Enjoy the eye contact & the blushy smiling stage a bit longer! If he's a great guy & interested he won't be going anywhere & if he's not you've enjoyed this feeling a bit longer 😊

Ilovetorrentialrain · 28/11/2016 23:23

OP do you ever have reason to go into the office/department where he works? Can you make an excuse to? Maybe next time you see him ask him where the coffee is so you can pinch some for your team as you're running out. Anything to start a conversation.

Ilovetorrentialrain · 28/11/2016 23:24

Ask agree enjoy it! I wouldn't ask him out but I'm old fashioned.

thepennyshop · 28/11/2016 23:39

Thanks Annie it's definitely the blushy smiling stage at the moment, which is why it's so nice. But I don't want that to be it.
I don't think I would just go and ask him out, but I do want to talk to him at least once to just see if there's anything there

OP posts:
growapear · 29/11/2016 07:38

First things first, if you've only looked at the guy thus far, why not try smiling next time you are making eye contact.

growapear · 29/11/2016 07:41

Oh, looks from your last post like you already smile at each other ? In that case barring the usual obstacles (married) I would say the coast is clear....bit of a cop out, but could you email him ?

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