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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I leave?

5 replies

youaintseenme · 03/11/2016 03:40

I know this gets asked a hundred times, but how do I leave DH?

We live abroad but are relocating back to England soon. I have a one year old and am 6 months pregnant.

I'm aware this is a rough time in any relationship. I've tried discussing the issues over and over. I've expressed my unhappiness over and over. I'm not being listened to.

I had just started a new career when I got pregnant with DC1, I'm not currently working because of the relocation and the new baby being due soon after the move. My earning potential (when I eventually do go back after the 2nd baby) will be low and it's likely I'll only be able to work part time. I gave up my successful career years ago to move abroad with DH so he could pursue his career (foolish).

DH will support the children but he can't afford to buy a second property for us. Where do we live?

I'm trapped... I have no where to go, I have no earnings or earning potential atm. What do I do?

OP posts:
youaintseenme · 03/11/2016 07:52

Anyone?

I've been around for years, have name changed to post this because it's so sensitive.

OP posts:
youaintseenme · 03/11/2016 16:11

Please, anyone?

I have three weeks before we move back. I need to sort this out, otherwise he'll sign a years lease on a property and I'm trapped for another year.

OP posts:
alessandro56 · 03/11/2016 16:15

Can you ask your family for help?
Don't know anything re housing benefits etc so can't help there I'm afraid.

hellsbellsmelons · 03/11/2016 16:20

Do you have family here?
What are your issues?
Is it abuse or laziness or cheating or something else?
Is there a way to work through it when back in the UK with relate etc...
(Not advised if abuse is involved)
While you are off with the DC could you maybe retrain.
Do an OU course or degree so when you can earn again it's a better option?
If it's abusive, when you get back here you will need to contact Womens Aid to get some help.

OhNoNotMyBaby · 03/11/2016 16:23

the welfare of children is always the 1st priority in a split, and clearly you need a home. It's not a case of DH buying a 2nd property for you, it is a case of ensuring you and the DCs have suitable accommodation before his needs are taken into account.

You need to see a solicitor. I would say that you need to sign a lease - but he needs to find alternative accommodation.

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