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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've done the right thing haven't i, be gentle

8 replies

user1471429975 · 25/10/2016 21:08

Hi first time poster , not even worked out how to change my user name.
Just had a really difficult conversation with boyfriend about his drinking . Not easy lots of tears, he says he wants to change. I'm not naive and know he will only change if he wants to. Any positive stories for me .

OP posts:
BabooshkaKate · 25/10/2016 21:09

How serious is his drinking?

user1471429975 · 25/10/2016 21:24

Binges , can share a bottle of wine and be content. Other times it's a litre of spirits and looking for more

OP posts:
IminaPickle · 25/10/2016 21:25

How long have you been together? Do you have children or pets or a mortgage?

user1471429975 · 25/10/2016 21:27

Only a few months don't live together, no kids. Both mid forties

OP posts:
IminaPickle · 25/10/2016 21:32

I'd walk away. It might be his wake up call and push him into sorting it out. Problem drinking is only ever a one way down escalator. It might stall and be ok for a while but it'll get worse before he confronts it. You don't need to be around for that.

ImperialBlether · 25/10/2016 21:35

A litre of spirits! That's 40 units in one go. It's hard to believe he'd be happy with 4 when he's sharing a bottle of wine - do you think he's topping up?

His health is seriously at risk if he's doing this, OP. Would he be honest with a doctor?

Purplebluebird · 25/10/2016 21:37

Sounds like my ex! He would binge drink every weekend (as would I, we were 20). A whole litre of spirits every time. I ended it because he was getting aggressive when drunk, and pushed me once (not even hard).

I hope it goes better for you than it did for us, but I would be very hesitant about this!

user1471429975 · 25/10/2016 21:40

When he is on a binge he's topped up. But stayed at mine plenty and had no access to alcohol. He has been through a very bad time in his life , family loss, unemployment, but he is making positive changes on that side of things

OP posts:
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