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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I text my ex?

21 replies

indiraisindiaisindira · 10/10/2016 17:11

Alright I don't suppose I can even justify calling him my ex, we just dated from Feb-April
He had lots on and was stressed out.

He said that he wasn't sure if he liked me that much.
I fancy the pants off him.
We agreed to stop talking. With the possibility of speaking again when work had settled down in September.

I think he's been dating someone since, but I'm not sure.

Do I drop him a text?

OP posts:
IzzyIsBusy · 10/10/2016 17:16

No.
If he wanted contact in September he would have text you.

He was being a coward and did not want to be a bad guy so lied and said he was stressed/too much on.

Move on OP it was barely a relationship.
Smile

Ilikegin · 10/10/2016 17:19

Oh god! Don't text! You'll come across as needy, and I doubt he's interested to behonest, especially with his comment! I'd walk away with your dignity intact! Plenty more fish and all that

Francescabear22 · 10/10/2016 17:19

Move on lovely it's a no brainer x

Cygnet44 · 10/10/2016 17:20

Absolutely not, it's quite clear that he's not interested. If he was, he would have contacted you.
Time to move on and make space for the man who does want to spend time with you Wink

PoppyPicklesPenguin · 10/10/2016 17:21

He was not into you at all. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but if he was no matter how "busy" he was he would have found time for you and he certainly would not be dating other people.

Move on, with someone who is worth of your time

Hissy · 10/10/2016 17:23

"wasn't sure if he liked me that much"

Fucking hell - how clear do you want it love? That's super harsh and you deserve so much more than this.

Why are you so fixated on someone so unavailable and cold?

Please love yourself the first and best and delete his number and any way you have of contacting him?

I know it hurts. You can have a lend of my t shirt if you want, but it does get better. Eventually.

Please don't humiliate yourself by wasting a second on someone who doesn't even like you.

(((Hug)))

SheldonsSpot · 10/10/2016 17:25

He said that he wasn't sure if he liked me that much

Which bit of that ^ didn't you understand?

With the possibility of speaking again when work had settled down in September

i.e. If he hadn't found someone else in the meantime - which it seems he has.

Please, please, PLEASE, don't text him.

squishee · 10/10/2016 17:25

No!

category12 · 10/10/2016 17:27

What Hissy said.

Don't do it to yourself.

indiraisindiaisindira · 10/10/2016 17:28

He ticked all the boxes, looks and personality. :(

With his comment about not liking me that much, it was to do with as in like me more than a friend.

I think maybe you're all right. Wine

Thanks for the messages.

OP posts:
adora1 · 10/10/2016 17:39

You think maybe we are right....we are OP, he's not interested, please don't lower yourself by chasing him.

Whether male or female, a person who says:
Wasn't sure if he liked me that much - is really not worth your head space, in fact, what he said is pretty brutal.

HotNatured · 10/10/2016 17:40

Sorry to be blunt but are you for real?

He said he didn't know if he liked you.

I find the fact that you didn't end it there and then bizarre, and even more mind boggling that you want to chase after someone who said this to you. I would strongly suggest some therapy so that you don't accept any old scraps chucked to you in future.

Costacoffeeplease · 10/10/2016 17:42

Nooooo! He said he wasn't sure he liked you that much - he could have contacted you in September - and you think he might be seeing someone - all adds up to no, don't contact him

You'll find someone better

indiraisindiaisindira · 10/10/2016 17:44

Blush som home truths here! But thank you, I need to hear them!

After we stopped dating, he kept texting me every single day, until I told him that I wasn't going to contact him for a while because it wasn't making me feel good.

He said that to me just days after we had an amazing date, snogged goodbye etc

He really confused me

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 10/10/2016 17:45

only if you are desperate and have zero self esteem

adora1 · 10/10/2016 17:49

The amount of times I've read on here from women who say a man has confused them.

It's not confusing, he's treating you like crap then being nice then being crap, it's called being a bastard and you are calling it confusion because you have allowing it to happen, sorry.

category12 · 10/10/2016 17:57

Maybe he likes having you on a string. Backup plan. Booty call. Fallback girl.

Do you think any of those sound like a great role to have?

You deserve someone who makes you feel really wanted and safe. Not someone who gives you just enough to keep you hooked.

BumbleNova · 10/10/2016 18:03

the answer to that question is always no...

Myusernameismyusername · 10/10/2016 18:10

It is confusing because the words don't match the actions.
I was very upset for a long time about a guy I really fell for who was a friend. We got very close and spoke all the time. We once nearly slept together. Then he had sex with one of my friends and I still liked him and picked up all the pieces of the mess and we continued to speak every day with him hinting he liked me but he wasn't sure I was girlfriend material. Until then he ran off with another friend and told her he never ever liked me in that way ever at all. Which didn't seem to make sense because of his behaviour but I think he just liked the fact I liked him. The girl he ran off with was the 'unobtainable' kind he never thought he stood a chance with. But he wanted me there just in case didn't he?

I never spoke to him after this because it all made me feel bad but I am cross with myself for allowing myself all the false hope and ignoring the obvious signs - he was never into me!

TheNaze73 · 10/10/2016 20:06

He has zero interest in you. Don't do it

Kittencatkins123 · 10/10/2016 20:17

Agree agree agree don't even think about getting in touch with this time waster. Find someone who is into you!

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