please help - Brighton area

[RebeccaWithTheGoodHair]

My sister is being emotionally abused in her relationship. She has started to recognise this but she doesn't want to leave. It's for the normal reasons:

• she doesn't want to split up her family
• she still loves him
• she hopes he will change
• she doesn't think it's that bad

I want to get her some help and I think she would accept it. My thought is to find her a counsellor or therapist who can support her and give her tactics to cope with this situation. She's being ground down so I need to find someone who can boost her self-esteem and give her strength and practical advice to deal with it.

It's not ideal but if such a person exists then I would be so grateful if anyone in the Brighton area can recommend them?

Thank you in advance.

Try the Rock Clinic East, some great therapists there, I can personally recommend Lorraine Gilingham. Good luck to your sister, it's good that you have her back.

I can't advise but wanted to place mark as I'm in the area in case any practical help is needed in future

for you and your sister

So sorry - bloody app

Rosie I can see the start of a message from you but not the full thing. I think you're saying that you're in the same situation? If so then I send you the very best and hope something good comes from this thread xxx

Oh blimey - now the full thing has appeared and you're not saying anything of the sort!!

Thank you for the message, it will just be good to be able to tell my sister that other people care.

I'm also in that area. Can't recommend anyone specifically but I can also offer practical support if needed, e.g. moving stuff, storing stuff, and I'm a dab hand at putting flat packs together if I do say so myself

I've been in EA relationships and I know how hard it is so leave. I hope your sister can take your support and love and gather her strength to get out.

Brighton Therapy Centre great. I had terrible experience of Brighton Relate.

pocketsaviour that would have been good to know last weekend when I put together a wardrobe!

Its good your sister has you looking out for her.

Thanks once again, she doesn't think it's bad enough to justify leaving. Fuck knows what 'bad enough' is. She's always been so strong and I can't believe what's happened to her, she has no confidence or belief that she can cope.

The worst worst thing is that he's lovely, he's such a great guy apart from abusing my sister. They've been together nearly 20 years. Looking back it's probably always been there but it's got worse and worse over the last few years. The thing is it's insidious, so it was hard to notice what was happening and I didn't give my sister enough support. I didn't understand until I started reading about emotional abuse and it all became clear. The shit she's been through and feeling that she can't tell any of us because we all love him so much. I don't know whether to tell the rest of the family so they can be aware and give her support. Or whether they'll find it hard to believe and not be able to help her. Or whether they'll be outraged and try to get her to leave and perhaps cause more trouble for her.