Good books on how to be diplomatic

[AGenie]

Hi

I wondered if anyone could recommend any good books on how to say things diplomatically?

I used to be a real doormat and in recent years I've started to try to speak up for myself a bit, but I find that in the anxious rush to say what I mean, I do tend to come over as being quite undiplomatic.

I wondered if anyone might know of a book that explains techniques for putting things in less blunt and more gentle language, but still getting the message across?

Thanks!

We were taught a method at work but be damned if I can remember it

Basically you be specific and talk about your feelings and own them. Don't say "you made me", but more like "I felt like X when you said y".

Thanks! I also googled for advice and all the pages said that I should listen to how politicians talk, and phrase things. I'm not sure that I would like to talk like a politician though. They never seem to say what they mean at all.

Maybe try the book "how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk"
It is focused on communicating with children but I found it could apply to anyone. It is based on respect for the other person.

That's a good idea. I have that book already, but had only thought about it with children.

I also remembered that the book "how to win friends and influence people" is often recommended.

I just found a summary of that book here:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People#Fundamental_Techniques_in_Handling_People

"When I say no, I feel guilty" has some good techniques for dealing with people.

It's a bit 70s USA in style but I found it helpful. :)

I've forgotten the authors name but I for it on amazon a few years ago.

Good one for learning to be assertive.

You don't want to sound like a politician. Is there anyone you would like to sound like? Could you channel your inner "What would Judi Dench do?"

runrabbit that's an excellent idea. I've always like Joyce Grenfell. I must watch more of her interviews and see if I can pick up some tips. She was quite forthright, but tended not to put her foot in it somehow.

Thanks stop, I've ordered a copy of "When I say no, I feel guilty".