What a fool

[Melmelmel687]

Been with dh for two yrs. Sex is boring so to spice it up i suggested dressing up he said i dunno never done it before. Ok so he wasnt keen made up excuses like no money. Last wk i mention it again he said suprisd me i bought outfit, put it on just now he glanced at me then carried on sweeping outside 20 mins later i change he asked y did u change? I didnt know what to say. Im a let down

What kind of outfit, surely if you were wearing lingerie he would notice . He is the let down not you

I feel like crying. Underwear same happens

Making you feel like shit by acting totally uninterested. Nice.
You're not the let-down.. He is!!!

Maybe he doesn't know how to react? Maybe he worries about performance issues?

Great now he keeps saying put outfit bk on so we can have sex my confidence has gone

So have you said that to him? That his lacklustre response has really put you off sex with him tonight?

So he's reacted in such a way that he can make out that it's you who doesn't want sex.

Is he always such a cunt?

He's gone off the relationship. If he can't see that you bought the clothes for him he is an idiot but I suspect he could see you were trying to entice him. So when he made his reply it was on purpose, he's not interested in the relationship.

Op, he's a grade A wanker. It's him, not you

I just let him down its clearly the way i look. Only been married for two months

its clearly the way i look

I'm not sure why you're reaching that conclusion.

Have you tried saying "when you do x I feel y" then waiting to see what he says?

You need to see if emotionally cares, if yes, then find out what is making him stressed.

If no, it seems odd to stop emotinally caring after 2 months of marriage. Did you see red flags before?
(I ignored red flags before and during my marriage).

Theres way more to a relationship/marriage to sex and your sex life will change and fluctuate over time. Theres the initial phase where you can't keep your hands off each other and then that changes to something much deeper. I've been where you are feeling like you do at times. DH and I have been together 9 years married for 1, we go through times when we have a lot of sex and times where we can go months without. Theres many factors at play, work stress, tiredness, illness, medication etc It doesn't mean we dont love each other or find each other attractive.

The issue here is that you are finding sex boring, what does he feel, is he satisfied with it, does he realise there is an issue? What is he into? I've bought stuff before and not got the desired response, hes then bought stuff for me he would like to see me in which I wouldn't have picked. Also maybe he's a slow burner, he saw you in it, you expected him to drop everything there and then, he thought, wow I'm looking forward to seeing more of that when I've finished this, spent 20 mins thinking about you whilst finishing sweeping then came in to find you had changed and was disapointed.

Have you told him you are worried you are not attractive to him? What did he say?

He says the right things but the actions dont happen