Would you tell DH about this or forget it? Drunken friend

[scroogeminion]

Last night Dh and I went out with some of our friends. Dh ended up taking another friend home early and met me at home, I shared a taxi with one of his friends who lives near us. During the taxi journey we were chatting and he suddenly put his hand on my thigh, i didn’t say anything but moved my leg away and he moved his hand then a few minutes later put it back. I moved it again but he didn’t this time and left it there. I should have said something or moved it but froze a bit. He didn’t try anything else and was chatting normally so I don't think he was really trying anything but am still feeling weird about it.

I don’t know whether to tell DH, I would like to but know he’d probably assume the worse and don’t want to cause problems if his friend was being innocent

Well his friend was being innocent was he?

If it was me, I'd tell him.

I meant wasn't

It depends on how you think your dh will react. I told stbxh when one of his friends "accidentally" touched my breast when we were dancing, it led to a huge fallout and I wished I'd kept schtum!

I wouldn't but would tell the friend next time you see him that if he does it again you will tell your DH.

These things can cause an absolute shit storm if you are not careful

I would tell him .

Well that sounds really horrible and no wonder you froze from such unwanted touching. Yeah I would tell my dh about his sleezy friend and not want to socialise with him again.

Is his friend a tactile person normally?

Had he had a few drinks?

As it didn't go any further I wouldn't tell DH.

He was drunk and probably wont remember. telling dh would cause drama.

Of course tell dh. Why would you not? Then you and the pervy friend will have an inappropriate secret from your dh. You've done nothing wrong, so don't hide this as if you had, otherwise when he does find out he may think there was more to it. Just mention it so the two of you don't have secrets between each other caused by this dick friend.

I don't see any reason not to tell your husband tbh.

Why would you not tell him? He's your friend, your partner, the man you share your home and life with.

I'm reluctant to tell him because I don't know whether his friend was being sleazy or just over friendly when drunk. He is not normally touchy feely at all but he had had a lot to drink. I think if he'd just done it once I wouldn't have thought much of it but it's the doing it a second time and then leaving it there when I had previously moved away that still bothers me.

I don't think DH would over react I just don't want to put that doubt there when i'm not sure about it myself. I doubt his friend will remember it.

Don't be forced into having a secret from your DH.

I'd tell him

Just tell him the facts, you don't have to tell him the guy's motivation, of course you can't be 100% sure of that though I'd put a fairly large sum of money on it.

Tell your Dh , don't keep secrets for this man. Your Dh should be able to deal with it with out knocking his lights out.

It could be innocent but it might not, this bloke might think this is one step closer to something else.

Either way if you mention it not a little secret between you and another bloke

You don't have to know what his intentions were to tell your husband.
I would. If something made me feel uncomfortable I'd want to tell him.

He wasn't over-friendly.

It isn't friendly to put your hand back on a bit of someone else's body, when she's removed it from that bit of her body.

I'd tell your DH. As others have said, you don't have to second guess your DH's friend's motivations. But you don't have to keep secret his lack of proper boundaries when drunk either.

Tell DH. Don't keep this sleazebag's secret for him.

I don't think even the first hand-putting was "friendly", and the second cannot possibly be described as such. "My hand is going right there, and fuck you if you think otherwise". Not On! and definitely not "friendly"

Friends don't force themselves on you. Friends don't try to pull their friends' wives.

Tell DH. This is nothing you need be ashamed of. Heck, in your place, I'd be telling everybody in our mutual circle - feck knows how many other women he's tried this with.

And don't let alcohol be an excuse. If he really gets bladdered to the point where he does something like this, he's got a problem with booze or a problem with women or both. Either way, not your problem to fix.

Tell your husband. He'd want to know. I certainly would.

Going to go against the grain and say that I would probably not tell him.

I think it would cause a lot of problems over one drunken mistake (wasn't even a kiss for ffs).

But it wasn't her mistake MrPony, it was his. Why should she keep a secret from her husband with this guy just to cover his mistake. Her marriage should come before covering for him.

I didn't say it was her mistake.

From experience no good deed goes unpunished. I've been in a similar situation and it didn't go the way you'd think it would when it all comes out.

If the friend does remember, and you haven't told you DH, he may feel he can get away with worse in the future.