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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

DP delegates, then does it himself anyway..

8 replies

Blacksheep78 · 21/07/2016 00:55

We have our own business, and employ several people. At least 3 times a week, DP will call and ask me to 'check up on... call so n so... follow through with... go pick up...'

I drop everything I am doing, and get what he wants done - it's my business too after all, and some things just need to be done NOW. I don't mind.

What drives me abso-fucking-lutely NUTS is that when I call him back to let him know that xyz has been done, or is in the process of being delivered, he says things like "no worries, I called x myself and it's sorted", or "ahh, yes, I got z to go pick that up from..."

Why, why, why does he do this??? I'd say it was just to give me something to do, and possibly a bit of a power trip, but I've been with him when he does it to other people too. eg, he asked one of the boys [G] to pick something up on his way back from lunch (was just about to leave, so would be back about an hour later) then he called another one of the boys [N] who was about to finish his lunch, and asked him to pick the same thing up on his way back. I pointed out the double up, and he said "oh well, the salesman will tell G that N already has it..."

I have on occasion simply not bothered to do what he has asked, but of course those times he left me to get on with it without re-delegating, and as a result it wasn't done.. I have also asked the question "who else are you going to get to do this, as I will call them for you?". He seems aware that it is a problem, and very frustrating, but just doesn't appear to remember at the right time.

aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh

Feel so much better now that's out..

OP posts:

EreniTheFrog · 21/07/2016 07:02

I had a boss like that once, and found her utterly infuriating. I can't imagine what it would have felt like to have her as a partner as well: I might have exploded. Stress toys helped a bit, though. My sympathies.

sooperdooper · 21/07/2016 07:07

My boss does this sometimes it's utterly irritating and makes everyone look incompetent and wastes everyone's time - if it was my DH I'd have a proper chat about it then next time he rings with things that need doing specifically say 'before I do any of this can you tell me you're not doubling up and if you do this is the last time I'll bother!'

ShotsFired · 21/07/2016 07:08

My boss is also one of these. They genuinely think they are helping me by doing my job for me, even though it drives me insane (and they know this). It's not as if they don't have enough to do, so adding unnecessary work is just crazy.

But in all other respects I am fantastically lucky with my manager, so I just let it go and take deep breaths when it happens.

Hassled · 21/07/2016 07:15

It's poor management, because he's going to be making his employees feel that they aren't trusted to be competent and therefore aren't valued. They won't bother putting much effort in and will eventually move on. He's got to look at the long-term outcome of the way he operates - it's a business that will never properly expand if he can't delegate effectively.

Justlikefire · 21/07/2016 07:22

It's either disorganisation or lack of trust but must be infuriating. Is he so busy that he can't think straight?

What is he like as a manager/leader? Sounds like he could do with some training for the role.

ChipsOrDaddy · 21/07/2016 07:23

I can kind of see your DH's point of view in this, possibly because I recognise myself in him! Is there any chance that you are being quite slow to do things? When you call him back, he says it's actually now already been taken care of, so perhaps he needs you to do this things a little faster?

EBearhug · 21/07/2016 08:09

If he thinks people are slow, he needs to give a timescale. Things don't get to the top of my to-do list just because someone else asked me to do it - but if I know the response is needed for a 11 am meeting. it might.

Original poster

Blacksheep78 · 21/07/2016 10:10

Thanks everyone. Yes, he is very frustrating. It's at the point now where the boys all check in with each other and decide between them who will do the job. This may actually be a good thing in a way, because then they all know what everyone else is doing.

Chips ( I just had to single you out, just had to! LOL ) he will hang up one call and then immediately make the next, then because he is on the phone when I try to call him back, I can't get through and then text to say it's done.

The boys all seem to idolize him, because he is great in so many other ways. Clients will wait months to have him do the job too, as it is always completed on/before time and on budget.

I suppose if this is all I have to complain about, he's really not too bad, but just sometimes it's so frustrating.

OP posts:

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