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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do you always go with your gut?

16 replies

FunnyTummy · 19/07/2016 10:25

I've name changed for this, as I have posted quite a bit recently on other threads, and don't want to out myself.

I have stayed in a relationship which has been very up and down. Things have been much better recently, but I just have this really uneasy feeling in my gut that it isn't forever, and that I can't completely trust what he is up to.

I don't have much concrete evidence, apart from when things were very bad this time last year (doing drugs behind my back etc)

Is this my problem? Do I just need to work on my trust issues? He is very open with his phone etc, and does a lot for me. We do get on well.

I guess what I'm asking is the subject question - Do you always go with your gut?

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 19/07/2016 13:27

I don't but, wish I did as its nearly always right.

horrayforharoldlloyd · 19/07/2016 14:38

I always do now.....

queenoftheknight · 19/07/2016 14:54

Yes.

I learned the hard way though!

candybar007 · 19/07/2016 15:08

Always and it is normally right.

ImperialBlether · 19/07/2016 15:11

I think if you ignore your instincts you're crazy, particularly given your relationship's history.

FunnyTummy · 19/07/2016 15:12

Can you break up with someone on a gut feeling though?

Obviously I know you can break up with anyone, at any time, but I don't know if I will look back and wonder what the hell I was thinking!

OP posts:
JamesTiberiusKirk · 19/07/2016 15:42

Agree with TheNaze73 - I wish I had paid more attention to instinct.

OP I guess the question is whether you feel you can have complete trust and faith in him, bearing in mind what has happened in the past. I wouldn't feel bad about being uneasy, given what went on previously. All I would suggest is that you keep your eyes open.

Resilience16 · 19/07/2016 18:37

I'd say go with your gut every time.
I would also say if you have broken up and got back together in the past, then what steps have you both taken since to fix things and make them better?
If nothing concrete then this cycle will just repeat and repeat. You split for a reason. If you don't actively fix that reason it will sure as dammit raise its ugly head again and again.

coco1810 · 19/07/2016 19:08

Yup, every time in all aspects of life. Hardly ever wrong.

NickiFury · 19/07/2016 19:14

Yes and I have never been wrong when it's about people close to me. My Mum was a very scary, unpredictable, controlling person and this combined with an army brat lifestyle changing schools every couple of years developed great getting the measure of people skills. I learned to pick up the non verbal signs and communications from people at an early age and I find it's invaluable as an adult. No one gets one over on me.

MsStricty · 19/07/2016 21:05

My gut/intuition is never off-course, though sometimes I'll misinterpret or ignore it. I think learning to trust and use it is one of the most valuable resources we have.

FunnyTummy · 20/07/2016 08:53

Thanks for the comments.

Resilience - I think that's a very good point. the cycle is repeating, and it's just as much my fault as it is his. people IRL and people on here told me that he would never change, and he wont.

I read an email that I sent to a friend exactly a year ago, saying that my gut feeling was very strong that this wouldn't work. why on earth have I then gone through another year of making my feelings stronger and making more memories.

so annoyed with myself.

Thanks again everyone

OP posts:
JanetWeb2812 · 20/07/2016 10:07

Gut instinct???

In different circumstances you could be prosecuted for going on gut instinct.

FunnyTummy · 20/07/2016 14:28

Not really sure what that means!!

OP posts:
PaulDacreCuntyMcCuntFace · 20/07/2016 18:31

In relationships - yes. If I get that awful churning feeling that something's wrong then I always listen to it because I've always been proved right.

FunnyTummy · 21/07/2016 08:52

Thanks Paul . . .leaving a whole relationship on a gut feeling is brave xx

OP posts:
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