Heartbroken.

[YoureALizardHarry]

Sounds like the wrong word for it, but I am.

I'm a regular poster but have NC'd as my brother and mother know my username on here.

DC1 who is 3 was being a bit naughty and started to fling a rubber toy at DC2 who is 5 months. DH got angry with her and actually pushed/shoved her backwards hard enough to make her fall on her back onto DC2s play gym.

She's OK but was shocked her Dad did this and I must confess I lost it at him. It's just so out of character - he's been moodier recently but I've known him 10 years and I've never known him to be physically aggressive with anyone.

He could've really harmed DC1 though and he didn't apologise at all.

It's really made me think differently of him to be honest. As this is the first he's ever done something like this I'm not rushing to assume he's some hidden thug but I will talk to him when alone and if he ever does something like that again I'll leave him, no questions asked.

Never thought I'd be posting this to be honest. Not sure why I am really just don't want to talk to anyone especially him at the moment.

Please try your best not to be nasty to me if you can help it.

Honestly he's never behaved in such a way even when drunk, an ex was harassing me etc so no idea where this came from.

Sorry if that's incoherent.

Why would we be nasty to you?

I don't think there is an excuse for his behaviour but if his moods have changed, is there a reason? Stress? Depression?

I would be feeling very upset too in your situation. You have to speak to him about it.

A sudden mood change, can indicate something going on as blue said.

Unhappiness with something (long term), undue pressure whether at home or work. Or even illness.

I say this as someone whose whole personality changed, became absolutely intolerant of anything, and blew fuse at slightest thing. Had a lot going on - redundancy at work, stress in relationship and various medications for nerve issue (actual nerves in spine and legs - not anxiety/depression).

Definitely speak to him, as that behaviour is unacceptable, maybe discuss what made him feel he needed to react like that, when he never has before.

blue some MNetters will attack you for seemingly minimal reason.

I think he's stressed. dD2 is. Going through a bad period and he doesn't really like his job.

I know how hard DC can be, as I'm with them all the time but to lash out at a 3 year old?

I dunno, it just seems so vile.

I would be really upset too. Talk to him and make it clear you disapproved his behavior towards a little kid. Plus, parents are the safe harbor for a child, tell him he can destroy that for his daughter if he does that again. That may help him understand how damaging it can be to his relationship with the kid.
But if he is never like that, maybe he is just stressed or worried about something... Maybe it was just a moment out of control, so try to take it easy at first.
Still unacceptable behavior though.

And yes, people can be rude and attack you for anything here...

I agree as he's normally so laid back it's got to be something. But yes I don't want DD to be afraid of him.