Verbal abuse

[nevis42]

I have been married 16years. OH is now retired and I'm no longer in work. All he does is sit in the chair all day every day, playing games on laptop before going to see his mum. Then come home and sit watching TV drinking wine every night. I used to go visit his mum, but recently stopped owing to the belittling remarks he says about me. He does this in company all the time in front of family. Whenever I say something he'll come back with a remark making me feel stupid. Now he's started doing it in private too now. Does anyone else go through this? I have told him I don't like it but he just says its only banter and I should lighten up. I don't have one single friend as he doesn't like to socialise and over time I've become very introverted as a result. I've had enough!!

This sounds horrible and no life to be living. I would plan to be independent of him. Are you working? If not, how old are you? Are you young enough to find a job which would the simplest way to meet people. Please get out and start meeting others, it may take a while to find friends but staying at home with this grey lump sounds like purgatory.

Tell him to STFU every time he snipes at you. If he's offended by that, tell him it's just banter.

But that would be Plan B. Plan A would be to start building a life without him in it. Perhaps start with some counselling to work on your confidence, and to identify exactly what sort of future you want for yourself.

I am 57 and off work due to long term illness. At the moment I feel my life's going nowhere.