Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

6 months relationship what stage are you at

15 replies

Mamalicious16 · 09/07/2016 17:54

Been wrong my boyfriend around 6 months. But at weekends whether he has his son or not, I feel a bit ghosted as he does his own thing. Am I being needy? Been married and never had this before........

OP posts:
Original poster
Mamalicious16 · 09/07/2016 17:55

Seeing not wrong!

OP posts:
Mum4Fergus · 09/07/2016 18:09

It depends on the individuals I think. My previous relationship we were living together after 3 months (together 8yrs and have a DS who is 6), current relationship together 14 months, in own houses but see each other most days...horses for courses.

Mintychoc1 · 09/07/2016 18:12

Do you have children OP? If not, or if you do but have child-free weekends that coincide with his, then I think it's reasonable to expect to see him then. I wouldn't expect to see him when he had his son, but I would expect texts and possibly phone calls in the evening. How often do you see him in the week?

Original poster
Mamalicious16 · 09/07/2016 18:18

I have three dc and the two older ones are nearby adults my youngest I have full time with maybe an overnight off Monday or Tuesday which is our "date night ". Last week I saw him two nights this week three

OP posts:
TheStoic · 09/07/2016 18:18

At 6 months we were seeing each other as much as humanly possible when not at work or with our own kids. At 18m (now), that's still the case.

Original poster
Mamalicious16 · 09/07/2016 18:19

Nearly not nearby! Oh my days I can't type!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mamalicious16 · 09/07/2016 18:20

He has ASD - it's been a bit of a rollercoaster already.......

OP posts:
Original poster
Mamalicious16 · 09/07/2016 18:24

When I've broached the subject he says it's not healthy to see each other all the time and sometimes he just wants "me" time. Maybe it's me.........

OP posts:
Mintychoc1 · 09/07/2016 19:59

It's perfectly fine to want "me time", especially if you work and have a child that you sometimes look after. Everyone needs time to themselves, we just all differ in how much we need. It sounds as if your boyfriend is happy with the level of contact you have, but you're not. Neither of you is right or wrong (although I'd say he is more unusual in my opinion), but if the disparity is an issue then you need to try and resolve it if possible. I'd also want to know if this is how he envisages things always being, or if he'd expect contact to increase over time.

user1467042399 · 09/07/2016 20:42

He is playing x box in he's room and I'm watching tennis downstairs ( well background noise)

user1467042399 · 09/07/2016 20:43

That's after 18 months but we were comfortable doing our own thing long before that.

Somerville · 09/07/2016 21:14

OP, I think what matters more than where other people are at after 6 months is how you feel about where you're at.

I agree with Mintychoc - if you're unhappy about not seeing him at weekends then ask if he envisaged it changing and if so, when that might be.
Also, with his ASD, part of his coping strategy may well be significant time on his own to decompress. He also might not have clicked that a lot of couples go out together or with friends on a Frriday night and that this is a societal norm that would mean a lot to you. If you put it in that way you might be able to find a compromise.

Caveat: one of my best friends has Aspergers and this is the kind of conversation we had from time to time, back before she was married, when she couldn't understand things like why a boyfriend wanted to take her to meet his parents on the evening she usually did laundry. Smile But I know everyone with ASD is different.

Princesspinkgirl · 09/07/2016 22:34

I'm 4 and a half months in a new relationship I'm pregnant his baby and we live together

TheNaze73 · 09/07/2016 23:39

I'd be doing my own thing & maybe seeing them twice a week

Dutchcourage · 09/07/2016 23:44

Completly depends on individual.

Ex before Dh we dated for four years - never moved in Just slept at each other's house at weekends. We argued a lot

Dh basically moved in after around three weeks. It turned from 'I'll call round after work if that's ok' to ' I'll be round when I've finished' to 'I'll be home at five' Hmm

He really was like an old pair of slippers, there was no games, no pretence. We both like each other and just went for it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page