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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

been caught cheating.

11 replies

Feelingsolow12345 · 18/06/2016 14:11

my friend just called me in tears telling me he's just found out his fiancé (of 3 weeks) has been cheating on him since the week before he proposed. she's saying it was just a kiss but she's blocked him on everything and she was the one ending it.

she said it was wrong and she didn't mean to do it. I believe if it was just a kiss then it wouldn't have carried on. I believe there was something else as she's known to be a good lier.

unfortunately my mate wants to stay with her and he's all over the place. I've tried to calm him and help him but it doesn't seem to be working. can people give me some advice so I can pass it onto him.

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 18/06/2016 14:16

I think it's one of those situations where you offer a shoulder to cry on and copious amounts of tea but try not to get overly involved.

Feelingsolow12345 · 18/06/2016 14:24

I think it's more like a sympathy pint or vodka coke.

I've told him my side from both their point if views. I told him obviously I should back you up but I'm not as it's not my argument.

OP posts:
Oddsocksgalore · 18/06/2016 14:26

Do as first poster says and nothing else.

Feelingsolow12345 · 18/06/2016 14:46

I'm going to pop to the shop and stock up on comfort food ready for when he comes round.

what made it worse is he can't even see his daughter on fathers day cause his ex won't let him.

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ALaughAMinute · 18/06/2016 14:54

Tell him he's lucky to have found out what she's like now and to stay away from her. She's clearly bad news!

TamaraHiddlestoned · 18/06/2016 14:54

Fathers Day is frankly just a date - the relationship btwn Dad & DC can be celebrated any time, and I suspect him having all this intense emotion within him won't make it at all easy for Dad or DC.
I commend you for your friendship; your mate will be better off being supported by you than either being alone or distressing him DC.

StartledByHisFurryShorts · 18/06/2016 21:47

Are you friends with both of them? Do you have to stay neutral. Well, I guess you have to stay neutral anyway since he might decide to go through with the wedding. Beer and a sympathetic ear, I reckon.

Feelingsolow12345 · 18/06/2016 22:26

no never actually met her. she always makes up excuses not to see me. I thought if I stay neutral it'll be for the best.

she's finished with him. refusing to talk to him making out he's the bad guy. also just found out she chested on her last boyfriend and he completely ignored the red flags

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StartledByHisFurryShorts · 19/06/2016 02:32

Well, fingers crossed, they stay split up. Be there for your friend. BUT STAY NEUTRAL! if you go in all guns blazing saying "Well obviously she's a total slag" then it's going to bugger up your friendship if they do get back together.

SandyY2K · 19/06/2016 02:53

What a shitty thing to do. Some people have no shame. She's not marriage material.

Best he found out before marrying her and as she's a serial cheater he better check the kid is actually his via a DNA test. Assuming she's the mother and not a different Ex.

There's a fair number of men raising kids who they think are there's and they aren't.

She could have and should let him have his child on Fathers day. If it was Mothers day and he refused he'd be labelled all sorts of names here.

There's a fair number of men raising kids who they think are there's and they aren't.

Tell him he's dodged a bullet and he's not having to split marital assets with her.

People who cheat pre marriage are not deserving of a second chance IMO.

Feelingsolow12345 · 19/06/2016 06:45

she's not the mum to his daughter but they thought she was pregnant and I went its a good thing she wasn't cause she might not let him see the child and it might not even be his.

regarding his ex I said the same about mothers day. he'd be called everything under the sun if he wouldn't let her see her daughter then.

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