Don't know why I feel like this?

[Mummyof02]

Hi all,

Just a bit of background info, I had a partner who become abusive very quickly and even though we are now separated, we have two little ones aged 1 and 0 , it's been only about just over 6 months since we officially split, I am also quite young I'm only 19 and still in college, my ex partner ( father of our babies) is ten years older then myself but is basically a man child and doesn't like facing responsibility

But my question is how do I move on in the right direction? Like I want to be with someone that I can be happy with and treats me right, but I don't know if it's too soon or just that I need to be more cautious. I really wouldn't to fall into the same situation again as it's hard looking after two small young ones but if it was more than I don't know how I could cope?

I recently started talking to someone new who at this time is just a friend, how do I make things so it doesn't end all comepletely wrong like before?

Advice please xx

I was in the same.position as you and my advice is to concentrate on the children and college and the rest will fall into place. I met my dp at work years later and he compliments us perfectly but even now 6 years down the line we Don't live together....
Heal yourself first and build your little.family unit. Focus on being the beat person you can be. You are more likely to find someone worthy of you :)

Take it S.L.O.W. I mean like a snails pace. Wait a very long time before introducing him to your kids - some people say 3-6 months but personally (I'm a single parent too) I wouldn't feel ok before closer to a year. Definitely don't let a man move in with you and your kids until way way down the line.
You need to make sure a man has been tested in all kinds of situations before you can be sure he's a good one. Wait til the chips are down and you will see his real character.
And never, ever ignore shitty behaviour because there is so much good stuff to balance it. Over time the shitty behaviour WILL get bigger and become a real problem.

Have you done the Freedom Programme yet?
If not, make that a priority before you even think about dating. After an abusive relationship your boundaries will be all over the place and you need to sort that out first.
Also, what everyone else said about taking it slowly. You have loads of time meet someone lovely and that's much more likely to happen if you are happy, secure and independent as a single person.

My advice is to work on you, find out who you are and work towards being the best person you can be and one you're proud of.

Your post shows you think happiness lies in finding a man to make you happy.

It really isn't. Happiness is best found in being yourself and a strong well rounded person so that whrn the right person does come into your life you're best placed to enjoy it.