A friend of mine sent me a link to this PDF version of Susan Forward's 'Toxic Parents' earlier. I was stunned when I started reading it. A few pages in, it includes a 'checklist' of toxic parent traits.
Out of 27 points, I ticked 24.
I'd started to acknowledge that my family dynamics were fucked up unhealthy, but was surprised by just how many things I counted up. I feel a bit more reassured in a way, knowing how much of it was, and is, unhealthy.
I thought it could be useful - the checklist, and the PDF - for others out there too.