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Original poster

Heading to my first date soon and feeling the butterflies

16 replies

Achica123 · 06/06/2016 16:25

I am going to see this guy for the first time in a couple of hours and i am feeling the butterflies. we met online and chatted a bit on whatsapp. he wasted no time and asked me out for a date. He's a father of a 6 year old girl, which is a new thing for me. haven't dated men with children before. I am excited, but so scared of awakward silence or not having a good time. How can I calm myself down?

OP posts:
BG2015 · 06/06/2016 19:59

Hope you're having a good time.

Check in later and tell us how it went

TokenGinger · 06/06/2016 21:33

How did it go? :)

AutumnRose1988 · 06/06/2016 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oabiti · 06/06/2016 23:46

Hope it went okay x

Original poster
Achica123 · 07/06/2016 10:30

Thank you all. The date went really well. He was lovely and a gentleman. We went for drinks and dinner by the river, then to a pub for another round of drinks. He was very attentive, held my hand and gave me hugs. He wanted to kiss, but I preferred to wait for our second date. We are meeting next Monday Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Achica123 · 07/06/2016 11:50

Do you think dating a man with children will be any different from dating a single guy with no strings attached?
Should I be thinking about it?

OP posts:
TickingClock1 · 07/06/2016 13:08

Yes! It is very different, in lots of ways. I think mainly it depends on you. It can be fun or hard work. Children are hard work, but very rewarding too. Assuming the relationship works out long term, do you think you cope with the mother of the child always being involved in your life in some way, although much less as time goes on. This can be a huge strain on any relationship. Do you think you are the type of person who can put another persons child before your own needs, as this will happen, often? This man will always put his daughter before you (or at least he should), again would you be okay with this? Everyone is different, but if you think any of the above would be an issue for you, then I would walk away now, if not, good luck!

Original poster
Achica123 · 07/06/2016 15:11

Thanks you @TickingClock1. I am not sure tbh. Not having dated a man with children before makes me on the ignorant side. I am going to give this a go and talk about these questions if things progress between us. I don't mind being a step mum, but there is a lot to conider here.

OP posts:
99redballoons67 · 07/06/2016 15:39

Personally and I know everyone is different but I wouldn't get involved with anyone who had kids. I didn't enjoy it. Always felt I was the last thing on his mind. Juggling kids and his ex wife who made life hard work for the relationship.

Original poster
Achica123 · 17/06/2016 15:09

I am heading to my second date with this one and so excited :) We've been talking and texting. He keeps complimenting me and said that he liked me a couple of times already.
Any tips for the second date?

OP posts:
cosmicquiteprobably · 18/06/2016 03:30

I am very into a man I met through OLD.
He has 2 sons, I have 3 daughters. Both of us are resident parents, so it ensures that we spend hours on the phone, and not enough time together naked.
He has turned my world upside down. I have never been so comfortable in someone's company, or laughed so much. He's also incredibly attractive.
I love that he is such a great Dad. I have spoken to his sons on the phone - they are older, and we had some amusing political discussions.
My girls are younger, and have met 'Mummy's friend'. They think he's great, and are always asking to see him.

I'm super excited because I'll be with him tomorrow night. I'm far too old to feel this way, but it's so intoxicating. I'm in love, and I'm so happy to have found him.

Dads are great, because you really get the opportunity to see how affectionate and committed they are to their children. It tends to follow that they will treat you the same. Smile

Summerlovinf · 18/06/2016 08:38

It's only date 2 and you're talking about the prospect of being a step mum...think you're moving a bit fast in your own head? Concentrate on enjoying the date and if you want to see him again.

Trills · 18/06/2016 09:09

Tips for a second date - remember that you should not just be flattered that he likes you, you should still be assessing whether you like him.

Original poster
Achica123 · 21/06/2016 12:43

Thank you all. Second date didn't go ahead ... He got in touch with me an hour before the agreed time saying that his brother was rushed into A&E with a suspected heart attack! Obviously I have been very supportive and nice. Checked on him, etc ... Since then, he's been blowing hot and cold, going silent and then texting me all of a sudden saying that he misses me. What's more interesting is that he's always logged into that dating website where we initally met.
A part of me refuses to beleive that an older man would use "a brother having a heart attack" to last minute cancel a date. But the other part is not ruling this possibility out.
Anyway, having seen, I decided that I deserve better than that, and decided to move on.

OP posts:
TheStoic · 21/06/2016 13:14

Good decision. If he was keen and enthusiastic, you would know it.

Original poster
Achica123 · 21/06/2016 13:26

Thank you TheStoic - I think he likes to play the hot cold game. Not into that kind of BS

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