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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP taking drugs - sort of...

15 replies

Fonzy · 04/06/2016 22:21

DP had a problem with prescription drugs years before we met.

He hasn't take. Them for years and doesn't even drink much. He also used to smoke cigarettes but stopped a few years ago.

Last year he got severe back problems and started taking diazepam to help. He also started smoking weed as it did help. He also drinks a glass of red wine a night - I don't have a problem with this.

He had an operation to relieve his back and is now much better although I've just found a packet of high strength Valium in his pocket. He's also still smoking... He says weed and only a joint a day but I'm not sure if he's just smoking tobacco again.

I don't know if I'm overreacting. Is life that bad that he needs to take the edge off?

We're expecting a child in a couple of months...

OP posts:
Fonzy · 04/06/2016 22:52

Anyone?

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 04/06/2016 22:56

The Valium must've been prescribed - have you asked him about the tablets?

Smoking tabaco isn't great but equally isn't the end of the world, I assume he isn't smoking around you if you're pregnant? On that her tell him you'd like him to stop smoking before the baby arrives

Fonzy · 04/06/2016 23:02

He was prescribed it for a while at the height of his injury. Only a vey low dose though. These are high dose ones he's bought.... I can't see that he would need them, equally can't see why he's still smoking... And all this with wine on top Hmm

OP posts:
Lightbulbon · 04/06/2016 23:04

Substance misuse is substance misuse it doesn't matter if it's legal/illegal/prescribed whatever.

Gide · 04/06/2016 23:06

How has he got the high strength Valium? I would want him to stop smoking-anything-as you're due a baby.

Fonzy · 04/06/2016 23:09

So others would consider it misuse and I'm not overreacting? I just can't see that it's for pain relief, he says his back hardly bothers him anymore.

OP posts:
Roomba · 05/06/2016 01:17

I would definitely say misuse if he doesn't have any back problems now, especially in light of his misuse of other prescription drugs previously.

Also, it may not have been prescribed. It is very easy to buy Valium online. An ex colleague of mine used to buy them regularly, to the point where he ended up with a big dependency on them and had to be weaned off by his GP and local drug and alcohol team.

Mumsnottheword · 05/06/2016 06:13

If the Valium is not prescribed then it's recreational use. Now not all drug use is misuse (imo) but if using daily without prescription then that is likely misuse/addiction. Quite difficult stuff to withdraw from I'm afraid.

The tobacco is also notoriously difficult to quit and probably the worst thing for him healthwise though.

Just be wary that addiction is complicated and if you ask him to stop he may want to comply but be unable to.

kittybiscuits · 05/06/2016 07:22

Valium is a controlled drug. I cannot see any way he would be having it on prescription at a higher dose in the circumstances you describe. If he's buying it, then it's a legal matter.

You are painting a picture of a person with highly addictive tendencies whose using has escalated rapidly and he is minimising. The person you need to be concerned about here is you (and your unborn baby). Only he can help himself and at the moment there is no suggestion of him doing that.

sooperdooper · 05/06/2016 07:35

Where has he bought the valium from?

Salene · 05/06/2016 07:48

I think he is back in the grips of addiction due to his back issues, it's re opened the door to prescription drugs and they have got a hold of him. I would assume he is buying the tablets on the streets or off the internet. I think you need to sit him down and tell him you know exactly what's going on here and he better own up to what's happening and not play it down and get it sorted before baby arrives or you are off.

He has relasped. It happens, the important thing is he realises this and seeks help. Do not allow him to fob you that it's not a issue, because it very much is a issue. He needs to shut that door on drugs for good and unfortunately with his history he CANNOT take prescription drugs again under any circumstances.

I speak from experience by the way.

Colchestergal · 05/06/2016 08:21

Weed and prescription drugs. Neither he obtained recently through a GP. I'd be very worried. He's no role model for your baby.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 05/06/2016 08:24

I agree with selene.

Fairylea · 05/06/2016 08:30

I agree with Colchestergal.

Slothlikesundays · 05/06/2016 15:26

Valium isn't pain relief. It is an addictive medication and can cause respiratory depression when mixed with alcohol. I would have concerns about this.

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