Police and missing persons

[Hesnotmissing]

My 22 year old DP has recently woken up to the fact that his father is abusive and has not returned to his family home since monday. Now they have text me saying that they will report him as a missing person to the police. (with an implication that i or he could be arrested for something, maybe kidnap?) Would the police do anything as they do know where he is, just that he will not respond to them. Who would be in trouble if the police decide that this is a waste of police time?

The people who reported an adult as missing, when it is just that he's choosing not to communicate with them, would be in trouble. Not you or your DP.

But I very much doubt that they will actually report him missing. It's a threat. Block and ignore.

So your DP's parents know where he is? He is an adult so I don't think the police would do anything. At the most, visit to check that he is ok and is staying away of his own free will, but that is all.

If I were your DP, I would send a text saying something like 'I am absolutely fine but I don't want to return and I don't want to enter into any communication with you.' I would then switch my phone off or just ignore.

If they report someone as missing who is clearly not missing, then they are the only ones who would be in trouble for wasting police time.

They do know where he is as his dad turned up at my flat and knocked on the door because of the non communication. I keep trying to get DP to respond or say something, but he is deathly afraid of his dad who has beaten him up in the past and the non communication was caused because his dad threatened to come to his work and smash his head in and get him fired because DP changed his bank account so his wages were no longer going into his Dads any more. When they came round DP closed all the blinds and refused to do anything. I got my brother to come in the back way to try to convince DP to go talk to his dad with my brother as back up, but he still refused.

I think if anyone is going to go to the police it should be you and your DP.

Yep, having seen your update I agree with TeaStory. Ask your DP to consider going to the police himself. Don't keep persuading your DP to respond to his parents.

You will not be in trouble - neither will your DP. Trust me on this Look after him

Please let him continue his NC. He's afraid of his father with good reason. Talking to him could be actually dangerous for him and your brother. Follow his lead and don't talk to them either.

Agree with ^

Do not engage with these people and do not try and persuade your DP to do so. If they do contact the police in this situation it will be them who get in trouble if anyone does. But I suspect they know this and are just trying to scare you. Contact the police yourselves if they turn up again and ask for help keeping them away.

He's a grown adult, if he chooses not to speak to his family there's nothing anyone can do about it, including the police. It sounds to me as though going NC with them is the best thing he could do, am I interpreting what you said about his wages correctly that his Dad had control of his money? Between that and the threats and previous violence his Dad sounds extremely abusive, I would absolutely be supporting DP in staying well away from him.

The police may do a welfare check on your DP and then tell his family they have seen him and he is safe and well. They will not disclose his location if that is the wish of your DP.

Let them threaten to report him as missing if they want .

It's going to be abundantly clear to the police he's not missing. This does my head in people trying to report family and friends missing when they know fine well where they are.

I'd be amazed if they even did a welfare check the situation as the OP describes it doesn't warrant one

Sounds absolutely awful you you and your DP, op.

If reported as missing the police will not make any charges against you or your DP, although I imagine this all an empty threat from your DP's dad.

If they did report him as missing and the police got in contact with him all they would do is check he is OK and de-classif him as a missing person (had this happen with a family member last year).

My foster parents did this against DP. I was just 16 at the time. They did visit to check I was okay and then left and told my foster parents that I was fine and not missing. They closed the missing persons case. That was it.

You may need to change all your numbers though, if they're going to constantly contact you all. It's taken a few years and I'm still a bit bothered when they contact me, but it's largely stopped now.

Hiding, since DP started his job in october the wages were paid into an account held in his dads name as DP did not have his own, so DP had to go home to ask for his own money, and i never witnessed an occasion where his dad did not insult and humiliate him for asking. Apparently DP could not open one as he did not have ID (we have that now), I've had to open one in my name so he could have his own card while his application is going through at the bank.

That's awful Hesnot your poor DP, definitely sounds like he's better off away from them

You could contact Missing People for advice. Tel 116000.

I would recommend your DP telephone the police, and inform them he is, in fact, not missing. Also explain the financial/emotional/physical abuse from his father.

DP's father will most likely get a stern word from the police, but unlikely charges will be brought against him, unless he ceases to harass you and DP. And definitely no charges against you or DP.