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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Need more intimacy and what to do about it

8 replies

showsomeclass · 15/05/2016 08:25

So, I've been with my fella for about 2 years and of course in the beginning, we had a lot of sex

I don't know whether he has gone off me, or doesn't fancy me so much any more, but it is not very often anymore and I seem to always be the one to instigate it! When he kisses me, I try and make it a longer, more passionate kiss but he often pulls away

I'm getting paranoid about it!

We don't live together and only see each other at weekends.. It's Sunday now and we haven't done it. Maybe I just have a higher sex drive than him!!

Anyway, I don't know what to do about it (if anything). Should I have a conversation about it? I don't want to make it an issue then make it even worse

I'm quite shy, and he's quite sensitive

OP posts:
ThisIsDedicatedToTheOneILove · 15/05/2016 08:33

Do you mean intimacy or sex?

Intimacy is a good precursor to sex so if you haven't got that you're unlikely to be having much/good sex. But your post only really talks about sex (other than kissing).

JonSnowsBeardClippings · 15/05/2016 08:35

Yes you should have a conversation about it! Good luck

Original poster
showsomeclass · 15/05/2016 08:41

I meant sex mainly but I agree with the intimacy before sex thing and maybe that's where the issue is.. Perhaps that's actually what I need to work on

We have a lot of fun when we're together and do a lot of activities - but don't spend much time just talking and being close

OP posts:
ThisIsDedicatedToTheOneILove · 15/05/2016 09:28

I think the talking and being close is important.

And things like the 'looking' that you do in the early days or before you're even together, you know.

Or just the little things like holding hands or the arm stroking.

The stuff that conveys, "I fancy you" without saying, "I fancy you" that means the other person feels desired.

cheesecadet · 15/05/2016 13:02

Is anything bothering him?

Is he attentive with you? Cuddles/the way he speaks to you? If not I'd say he's not into the relationship like he was.

harrisntasha · 15/05/2016 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
showsomeclass · 15/05/2016 22:11

Yes he is attentive in other ways.. He wonderfully kind and loving.. It's just sex! He has just started a new job so maybe that's playing more on his mind than what I realise.. Even before that though, I would still want it more often than him and I hate feeling like I'm asking for it

I'm interests to know what harrisntasha wrote that made mumsnet delete it!

OP posts:
silverpenny · 15/05/2016 22:12

Twas some stupid spam post that has been deleted from loads of thread today I think!

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