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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I'm leaving him

10 replies

FuckOffDavid · 06/04/2016 01:13

He has got it into his head that I am having an affair with his best friend. I'm not. I have never cheated on him and in fact he is the only man I have slept with.

I get on well with his best friend have a laugh and joke, but if I even look at his friend I get accused of sleeping with him.

The accusations have been going on for months and I jusyt can't take it anymore. He wont listen when I talk.

He has always been emotionally and financially abusive but it is only recently I have noticed. I don't know if I am doing the right thing. Please help

OP posts:
lordStrange · 06/04/2016 01:20

Flowers yup, you are doing the right thing, he sounds ridiculous and controlling.

It only gets worse, please do yourself a giant favour and cut loose from someone who wants to possess you.

Fuck off Davids

Original poster
FuckOffDavid · 06/04/2016 01:24

I am crying. Thank you lord you are helping me have sense. Everytime he touches me it turns my stomach so I think it is for the best.

OP posts:
Original poster
FuckOffDavid · 06/04/2016 01:29

The accusations have been going on for months. He is bring me and our DD down and I just can't take anymore.

OP posts:
BoxofSnails · 06/04/2016 01:32

You're very brave and this is the hardest bit. Do you have a plan or are you just starting to think about it. It must be very challenging and emotional to have come to the point of this decision. Do it for you and your DD, you both deserve to thrive not just exist under the control of a horrible man.

Original poster
FuckOffDavid · 06/04/2016 01:44

We live in a council house so tomorrow I will need to go to the housing and speak to them. Then I will speak to him and tell him it is over.

He doesn't treat our DD properly. Doesn't have time for her or patience for her. She needs better. Without us arguing all the time. I don't love anymore he absolutely repulses me when he talks or touches me.

He takes most of our money and spends it on cheap drink and leaves me without enough money to pay my DDs brownies fee. I am starting to feel angry now.

OP posts:
Original poster
FuckOffDavid · 06/04/2016 01:48

I'm not making much sense. I've been out with a friend tonight and had a few drinks and as soon as I have come home I have been accused of cheating on him.

OP posts:
lordStrange · 06/04/2016 01:51

I'm so sorry. He sounds dreadful. Like Box says, this bit is hardest. You can do it.

You can't take it, none of us can, and the good part is your lovely DD and you don't have to.

Do you have some real life support when you break it to him? A friend, mum, sister, HV?

Iflyaway · 06/04/2016 01:58

Please do not tell him you are leaving..

Gather your papers together, your daughter and do it when he is at work/out the house.
Contact police or womens Aid for help. Not in UK so don,t know the nr....

TheNaze73 · 06/04/2016 07:24

Suspicious, untrusting & controlling people like that are normally judging people by their own standards. You're doing the right thing

Original poster
FuckOffDavid · 06/04/2016 09:00

Well he woke up groveling as usual this morning. I am still leaving and I wont tell him, I just need to find all our paperwork and make a plan. I do have support my parents will help us leave.

I'm going to make an appointment asap at the housing office and find out my benefits entitlement until I find my feet. Thanks for all the support I think seeing it written down has given me the kick up the arse I needed.

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