DH's snoring and teeth grinding is driving me bonkers.

[VoldysGoneMouldy]

I adore my husband. He is lovely. However if he falls asleep before me, I struggle not to hit him in the face with a pillow or something heavier.

He falls asleep a lot quicker than me, and even if I go to bed earlier, I tend to wake up when he gets upstairs. The snoring is so loud that I'm currently downstairs, with the TV on, the bedroom door and the living room door are closed and I can still hear him.

The teeth grinding is worse. I have genuinely been close to tears because of how bad it is on numerous occasions. I've been sleeping on the sofa a lot because I cannot sleep with it going on next to me. He did speak to the dentist about it, but it's caused no damage to his teeth, so he can't get a mouth guard on the NHS.

Is there anything that people have found works for these things? Or has anyone else got a spouse who is driving them bonkers and wants to drink cyber coffee with me?!

Me!! He's even started snoring on his side - grrrrrrrrr.

To give you an idea, I had about a year of grief from him and MIL about not sharing a bed. "It's not healthy" etc. So let's not mention sleep deprivation eh?

Anyway, he's in the spare room atm and I can still feel the wall vibrating!! It's a million times worse if he's had alcohol. He's also got a mouth guard but won't wear it because "it feels weird".

I can't offer any advice other than separate rooms and a fan for white noise - for your sanity. However, my Dad is a terrible snorer. Had to go to a sleep clinic and it turned out that he has sleep apnoea and he has a CPAP device which seems to help.

How can the teeth grinding not be damaging his teeth though? It damaged mine and I had relatively new teeth (teens/early 20s). It wasn't spotted till I got problems with my jaw - my dentist at the time never picked it up

Can you get a second opinion?

Mine snores badly too. His dad was the same, even when his weight dropped to 8 stone just before he died he still snored his head off.

I tend to sleep in the spare room and I've have earplugs made, but don't find them comfy. The earplugs take away some of the noise but not all and I'm so frustrated by it it makes me uptight and upset so then I still can't sleep well.

Please ask the GP to refer your DH to a sleep clinic. It sounds like he has sleep apnoea from your description and he needs to be assessed and treated.

Spare room with spare bed made up.

Our problem is his shift pattern which disturbs my sleep and sometimes snoring and the fact sometimes I like to go to bed and read but can't when he's in bed before me because he's like a fucking rabbit caught in the headlights as soon as he sees the light on my phone .

This has been a godsend for me and DH. There's only one or two nights a week where we don't sleep
In the same bed but to get a full night's quality sleep at least a couple of times a week is a Godsend.

Ido get some strange looks off people if I tell them though. My mother thinks we are on the brink of divorce just because we don't share the same bed every single night. We still have sex mother! .

Can you sleep on something other than the sofa (Argos sell air mattresses); sleeping on the sofa will give you back problems.

I would agree with the previous respondent; he has a serious problem and he needs to be seen by a sleep clinic. He is likely suffering from sleep apnoea as well as teeth grinding. He needs to be seen by the GP for a referral and you should attend the GP appointment with him.

From the NHS website:-
Bruxism is the medical term for grinding the teeth and clenching the jaw.
People sometimes grind their teeth without it causing any symptoms or problems. But regular, persistent teeth grinding can cause jaw pain and discomfort and wear down your teeth. It can also cause headaches and earache.

Most cases of teeth grinding (nearly 80%) occur subconsciously during sleep. It's usually associated with contributing factors, such as stress or anxiety.

Bruxism also affects people when they're awake, although this is more likely to be clenching the teeth and jaw, rather than grinding their teeth. Most people do it subconsciously while concentrating or when they're in stressful situations.

Many people with bruxism find it will come and go. It's likely to be worse during stressful periods.

Bruxism almost always occurs in association with other factors. About 70% of bruxism cases that occur during sleep are thought be related to stress and anxiety.

There's also an association between bruxism and obstructive sleep apnoea (OSA). OSA is a sleep disorder where your breathing is interrupted during sleep. How bruxism and OSA affect each other isn't currently fully understood.

Definitely get him to go to the GP. Could be sleep apnoea which increases risk of heart problems.

Re teeth grinding get him to go back to Dentist... over exaggerate the discomfort in his jaw and push for a shield... imo they are amazing and absolutely essential. I would pay private if needed as it will help

Thanks all.

I'm okay sleeping on the sofa, I've done it for years with anxiety, this isn't much different!

Very interesting to read there is a connection between grinding and sleep apnea. I'll be honest I've never really thought that it might be sleep apnea, I don't know why. We're in the process of changing GPs at the moment but will push him to go once that's gone through. I've just mentioned it to him and he's said there's no need for him to. Yes, dear, there is.

I'll get him to call his dentist again, but the dentist was quite insistent that his teeth were in great shape, and that it bothering me wasn't reason for a mouth guard. Will the cost of it privately vary from dentist to dentist?

I was recommended a mouth guard for my teeth grinding. I am an NHS patient, but my lovely dentist said that the mouth guard was cheaper privately (£80, I think) than on the NHS (Over £250!) so she charged me private rates for the mouth guard and NHS rates for the consultation.

Suggest that perhaps? His teeth grinding WILL damage his teeth. And the snoring WILL damage your marriage and your sleep! (been there, done that etc.)

You can apparently get mouldable mouth guards in superdrug for about 20 quid - my friend just paid a couple of hundred quid for one from the dentist and was quite displeased to see them in the shop so cheap. Temporary solution?

He needs to get a referral to a sleep clinic. My DH didn't believe how bad his snoring was and after years of nightly torment I finally snapped and left. I was demented with lack of sleep and total exhaustion not to mention exasperation and DH was a bad-tempered little shit through lack of proper sleep. Can you video him on your phone and play it back to him? Then read him the riot act.

Does he stop breathing? Sleep apnoea can be quite debilitating and dangerous to health (yours as well as his) and leads to low levels of oxygen in the blood, risk of heart conditions and poor concentration when driving. He might be a candidate for a CPAP machine or an operation on the soft palate which could be flapping around while he is trying to breathe.

He needs sound medical advice and intervention asap. In my experience the mouth guards and OTC anti-snoring devices didn't work for DH although others report that they worked for them.

a link to the NHS page on OSA.

DH did get it sorted finally and now we both sleep at nights (in the same bed too). You have my sympathy. Poor OP .

I'll be honest, a few times I wondered if he had stopped breathing and poked him (then he does a big huge noise and starts again?) more often back in the early days, now I'm normally just relieved if he stops snoring I often put a pillow over my heads to drown as much out as possible - maybe I need to pay a bit more attention.

I've recorded him grinding his teeth on my phone before, his response was "well it didn't go on for long" - ripped him a new one for that.

I haven't really told him just how much it is disturbing and upsetting me as I know that a, he can't control it, and b, there's a lot more that he does for me, and it's seemed silly to make a big deal about it. But it's only getting worse, and is actually beginning to impact me.

Will discuss those temporary guards as well as the more serious stuff - thank you.

A mouthguard costs about £75 -£80. I've had NHS and private dentists and I've always had to pay for them and the price has always been the same - and my teeth are heavily damaged by the grinding (one dentist said I would be ideal for a textbook )

However he really needs to be seen by a sleep clinic as if he needs something like a CPAP that might sort the whole lot.

My mum found separate bedrooms saved her marriage. You could hear my Dad halfway down the street. However he was very sympathetic as he knew he sounded like an earthquake which made a lot of difference.

dh uses Boots snoring mouthguard, in a blue box can't remember the name (about £35), it was uncomfortable at first but he says its ok now. Total lifesaver , its lovely not waking up knackered.

I'm married to a snorer and we have no spare room. It's an absolute nightmare.
If you crack one night and need an alibi give me a shout because I might need one soon too