Fed up with our sex life

[Notlikethis88]

Our relationship has been rocky but getting back on track, sex is terrible a complete other story. We were off yesterday we both made it clear we wanted sex dc went for a lie down so I did too dh said he would wake me up for sex after 30 mins he never, he was watching TV instead. I wasn't too impressed so he said we would after feeding dc and getting dc to bed. He ordered a huge pizza started tucking into that I knew what was coming I said do you want sex he said oh ok come on then but was clearly in a huge mood then said he was tired. Today's the same no sex at all, I'm getting really fed up because it'll end up we don't have time and it'll be a quicky again I won't get anything out of it. He's happy to watch porn and wank when I'm not here though, I'm not one for masturbating so I really am getting fed up here.

That is terrible, esp if he is using porn to get off instead.

Where is the romance, is there anything worth saving?

Personally the porn use would turn me right off anyway, what a fucken cheek.

I would understand that sex can be difficult to plan etc, as you don't know when tiredness is going to kick in.
The bit where I lack sympathy with him is the porn use. It appears that he just can't be arsed and is too lazy / selfish to initiate any intimacy.
A low sex drive is a low sex drive, but if it's easier for him to get off on porn that is another issue.

I think in your position I would start issuing ultimatums. Stop relying on porn and ignoring me or sling your hook.

If someone has a lower sex drive, then that can be okay, if you're happy with that, but there needs to be good communication. Could you try speaking to him? Let him know how the watching porn makes you feel, especially since he's not wanting sex with you. Let him know that if he isn't in the mood, then he should make it clear, but that in a relationship you need to care for the other person, part of this is wanting to make them happy, and not being selfish.

Tbh the porn doesn't really bother me, it's just something he's always done, Its not me though doesn't really interested me. Whenever we do have sex I usually just let him finish off himself or he lasts minutes. I can't really feel much I don't know why. I can't orgasm with him. I feel really bad about it because I want to enjoy it but I feel he's not that interested every now and then he will make time and it's good but never great and I never orgasm. Could it be something to do with having dc?

Tbh the porn doesn't really bother me

If I had a pound for every woman in a dysfunctional sexual relationship that said that, I would be a very rich woman.

TBH, it sounds as though it's more to do with your DH being a selfish lover than to do with having DCs!

Does he ever do anything to make sure you orgasm? Never?

He tries but I just can't? I honestly have no idea why. I think I've knocked his confidence a bit now as he thinks it might be to do with him. I don't know if it's just because of hectic lives etc I've no idea. I'm really struggling with it though I feel ridiculously frustrated.