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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Should I prepare myself for the fact he prob isn't intrested?

20 replies

Weymouthmouth · 04/03/2016 13:30

Met a guy online, been in contact all week, spoke loads really got on, wanted same things etc was both really looking forward to our date last night!

Date seemed to go well, chatted loads, no awkward silences stayed until closing etc, little kiss goodbye both said how we enjoyed meeting each other, told him to let him know I got home etc.

Texted to say I was home and that I enjoyed meeting him, then I went to bed, work this morning to text saying "glad you got home safe, I enjoyed meeting you to x "

So all positive I thought, replied to that message this morning just saying morning etc and how I'm looking forward to a day off work etc and how he is and he just doesn't seem to be bothered about talking/replying.

Now I know he could just be busy but usually he is available to message and up until now has been really keen with the contact.

Should I just prepare myself for the fact that he prob isn't intrested in seeing me again?

OP posts:

Sad4EverMore · 04/03/2016 13:32

I think it's too early to say, wait and see if he's replied by end of tonight.

theclick · 04/03/2016 13:36

Did he ask you to say when you got home?

Original poster

Weymouthmouth · 04/03/2016 13:39

Yes he did ask me

OP posts:

handslikecowstits · 04/03/2016 13:43

It's too early to say surely. He might be in a meeting, his car has broken down somehow, anything.

Leave it a couple of days and then if he hasn't replied, you'll know.

MyKingdomForBrie · 04/03/2016 13:56

I would just make sure not to text again at all, if you hear from him but no questions then don't reply, if he texts back and it clearly needs a response then text back.

Cabrinha · 04/03/2016 13:59

When OLD I always reminded myself of this:
I have some amazing male friends. Funny, kind, intelligent, shared interests, even good looking
I could - and do - spend time with them very enjoyably.
But... just don't fancy them.

So I try not to take it to heart if an OLD doesn't go anywhere. It helps me to make sense of why an evening that seemed really promising can then just go nowhere.

If you liked him - I hope he calls this evening!

Jan45 · 04/03/2016 14:03

So he's ignored your last message, sorry but it's a good indication that he's not interested but, he may contact you, do not contact him now.

LobsterQuadrille · 04/03/2016 14:06

If I'm at work in a meeting, there's no way that I can just text a reply to anyone. I would definitely give him until this evening but as PP have said, don't text again unless you hear from him.

Original poster

Weymouthmouth · 04/03/2016 14:12

No I won't text again will leave it to him, his reply to me getting home and this morning seemed normal, smiley face, kiss etc but up until now he has always been in touch, he didn't mention anything about having a busy day or meeting etc but guess he could just be snowed under at work!

Disappointing as we did seem to get on and I did feel like he seemed interested but who knows.

OP posts:

Slowdecrease · 04/03/2016 14:19

Please please please, put the phone down and get on with your day. He has done the preliminary texting with a lead up to the date, the date began the potential next phase...you are adults who have met once who dont need to check in on each other every morning and every evening and in between, you really don't. Just let him be. You'll hear from him when the next date is on the card or when he has something to say, as you would with your mates etc. Chill. Seriously.

TheNaze73 · 04/03/2016 14:51

Absolutely far too soon, to rule anything in or out. I sometimes don't reply to texts all day. Might not want to appear to eager as well. Don't text again though, ball's in his court.

Winter3005 · 04/03/2016 15:44

The dreaded post date silence.... I hate it!

You've sent the text so I would wait for him to reply. In the meantime don't look at your phone (easier said than done) and get on with your day.

friendissues1 · 04/03/2016 15:44

Oh dear calm down op!

Your last text was inane chatter - no questions, no asking to meet again. What could he reply? 'Ok have a nice day'?

Personally I hate the back and forth texting bollocks until I'm in a relationship with someone when I really do care about what they're up to. Maybe he's the same

antimatter · 04/03/2016 15:47

I never liked post date silences but only recently (I am not dating though) my phone fell into the toilet and I had to dry overnight in a bowl of rice. It wasn't functioning properly for another 24 hours anyway!

Original poster

Weymouthmouth · 04/03/2016 15:53

Last text I sent did have a question, asked him how is day was and that was in reply to a text from him.

Know it's to early to rule out but just seem strange that he was very keen and since the date not so much, even when I left last night from him and the way he was acting I was pretty positive and certain we would be getting a second date.

Like I say maybe he is just tied up with work or something and I will hear later but just got a feeling that's not the case.

OP posts:

wannaBe · 04/03/2016 16:00

I have no idea how anyone does OLD. But to people saying the OP needs to calm down, it sounds to me as if until now she has had a pattern of regular communication with this bloke, and now after they have met he has gone quiet. Op you're not unreasonable to wonder whether he has decided this isn't for him after all, I would too under the circumstances.

Slowdecrease · 04/03/2016 16:04

But wannabe ..This is OLD 101. the avid texting pre-date is the courting dance effectively , the date is the watershed of whether there will be another one or not...no adult should need the constant reassurance of texting to determine whether the thing has legs or not. And as I've said on another thread, no man was ever put off by a woman being too relaxed. Texting levelling off is entirely normal. It's true it could be indicative of the guy or women losing interest...but where's the panic?? Its one date in.

Secretlove · 04/03/2016 16:27

I think you are probably right op. A lot of men want to text day and night before meeting up. Then if they suddenly don't after you have met then obviously the excitement isn't there any more and they back off.

I have done it myself. Even when a first date has gone well and a second has been arranged, I have changed my mind the day after, not for a major reason, just not feeling the vibes.

Secretlove · 04/03/2016 16:28

Tbh I don't give my number out any more as it really is a waste of time to text or call a lot before meeting.

ToTheLeft · 04/03/2016 16:37

This was also my experience with OLD, over eager and keen before meeting, contact trailed right off after the date. That is except with current BF who made his intentions clear, didn't play games and I never for a second worried when there was a delay in him texting back because he was generally very reliable with contact and so I knew there would invariably be a good reason. We've now been together 18 months we're both incredibly happy together.

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